Tuesday 5 December 2017

APRES MOIS LA DELUGE



Facebook’s timehops has brought up these gems from three years ago

5 December 2014
Talk about absent minded bloody academics... 
Because of Ferretfingers's aversion to music and adverts I listen to tv using headphones and at the moment I have a lovely comfy pair which blocks out most extraneous noises.
So there I was watching “I'm A Celebrity.Get Me Out Of Here! and I hear this bellowing of "Ben! Ben!" from upstairs - loud enough to get through.
Take off the headphones and bellow back "WHAT?"
"I've flooded the bath"
Then I hear it.
The kitchen is having its own personal monsoon season.
Go upstairs and the water is out of the bath and the bathroom and working its way past the toilet door. He's standing there with the plug in his hand.
We have a lot of towels (thanks to bringing back all his mother's and brother's when we cleared the family home so I empty half the airing cupboard and he mops and wrings them.
I dash down to the kitchen and put buckets and bowls over where it's coming in worst. Fortunately the ceiling is boards not plaster so it just runs through, all over the work surface and under the microwave and onto the floor.  Fester comes down and there's more mopping and wringing.
 
Eventually I bring myself to the point where I can actually ask what happened.
"Oh it was a combination of football and cycling on the telly" by which he means the laptop which he watches while putting lists of pits into the pc.  He'd started running the bath then got absorbed.

So now we have the washer spinning the towels prior to them being washed tomorrow - together with all the stuff we got out of the laundry basket for emergency mopping. The dehumidifier and fan heater are going full blast on the landing to get the carpet dried out (no they're not sitting on the wet bit). The kitchen floor is covered in old clothes to catch and mop up the remaining drips. And the last time I had the lights on there was a worrying spitting noise from one of the bulbs.

Thunderthighs has wisely stayed in the loft, apart from popping his head out to say "My it's warm up here."

They do say "Tomorrow is another day"
 
Yes - another day when I'll be clearing up somebody else's mess.

I'm going down to my sister's on Sunday - God only knows what I'll find when I get back

Mrs Leftfooter - Well at least he had his clothes on....Wait! Don't reply to that. xx
Bentonbag -  Actually he did - hadn't got ready for the bath

The next day I posted

You'd have loved this afternoon.
In order to get the kitchen lights to function without sparking, steaming or spitting Fester was stood below them drying them out with the hairdryer.
"Is this our hairdryer?"
We've only got one hairdryer.
"So this is the one I use to dry the radio when it falls in the bath?"  (NB the radio falls in of its own volition - no hairyarsedbastard drops it)
Nevertheless we still only have one hairdryer.
"That's funny - I thought it was green"

The kitchen lights are now functioning perfectly.

So this week:
Ferretfingers hurled the tivo remote to the floor and it no longer functions;
Fester flooded the bathroom, half the landing and most of the kitchen;
and today the washing-up-bowl sprung a leak (only 18 years old I bought it when Thunderthighs was born).
Sneaky the last one.
I was sterilising jars for apple jelly.   
Laid them in the bowl.   
Boiled kettle, and poured boiling water around and on jars to heat but not crack.   
Filled and boiled kettle.   
Came back to bowl and thought "I'm sure the water was higher than that."
Took about three kettlefulls before I was certain.
Felt like one of those arithmetic problems about filling a bath with the plug out ....
Unlike last night .

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