Volunteer

I felt so lousy on Tuesday morning I did a lateral flow test and yes, I have the lurgie.

I have spent most of the days since attempting to rest and leaving everything to the men in the house.

Fester had to take Ferretfingers to and from the Farm on the bus which involved climbing out of the Ouseburn valley twice in one day.  He took him out again on Wednesday. 

Yesterday he proceeded to take to his/our bed.

Which is why I got the recliner out, and a blanket, and have spent most of the past two days recumbent in the garden reading and watching the birds.

I’m still feeling pretty grotty, but have got through three of the books I've been meaning to read for ages.

God only know whether Fester has/had the lurgie or not; but he's back to what passes for normal.

Friday mornings usually find me at LDNE helping with the knit’n’natter group for people over fifty, the eldest is 84  There are up to seven ladies with differing degrees of needlework skill but huge amounts of character. Obviously I didn’t go today.  I prepared this little gem earlier this week but didn’t have the hwyl to get up and do.

From Facebook Archives

15 May 2023

I forgot to note this brilliant moment at last week's knit'n'natter.

Y (for the umpteenth time) "You can take us but you cannat leave us."

Her pal C "Aye, and I'd be afraid to buy a raffle ticket in case I won you back."

At which I fell about laughing.

Then H starts talking about the future, stops and says to me 

"Oh, but you won't still be working here then."

"I don't work here now."

"What?"

"I'm a volunteer."

"You mean you don't get paid to do this?"

"No. I'm not staff.  I do this for nothing.  I'm a volunteer.  So's Carrie."

The ladies were obviously a little surprised by this.

 

Cat Tales #41 Language!

 

There is only one swear word used in this blog, but it is used frequently and in an imaginative variety of forms.

This is a day early but:-

1 I’m busy tomorrow

2 Thunderthighs and I laughed until the tears ran down our legs reading it a couple of days ago.

From Facebook Archives

14 May 2023

We pull into the drive after a pleasant Sunday morning trip to the Quayside market and the first thing we see is Teddycat (aka The Gingergit) stalking down the drive with Hershey (the nice-but-dim Burmese) creeping along behind him.  

Thunderthighs opens the front door; Hershey tries to get in and Teddy manages to. Hershey is encouraged to go to his own home.

Teddy goes into the kitchen.

There is an explosion of swearing along the lines of "F*ckin'ell cat…F*cking cat's f*cking bit me on me f*cking arm... F*CKER!" ... and a sound of splashing.

Discover Fester rinsing the back of his upper arm under the tap.

"Fetch me a plaster Thunderthighs that f*cking cat's f*cking bit me!"

Thunderthighs gets the box of plasters out of the drawer and removes one.

"That's no f*cking use, my arm's still f*cking wet, I've got to f*cking dry it".

At which point he grabs the nearest, less than clean, teatowel and starts scrubbing at his clean arm.

I get a clean, dry, ironed teatowel (yes I iron teatowels, sue me) and take over.

"Feed that f*cker Thunderthighs.  I'm not going to.  It f*cking bit me."

I take the cover off the plaster.

"That's no f*cking use, my arm's still f*cking wet, I can f*cking feel it."

I rub again with "It is dry, I can see what I'm doing."

"How many teeth marks are there?"

"None, it's a scratch."

Less than half an inch long.

Apparently "there weren't that many f*ckins" and "it felt like a lot of holes"

In other news ... yesterday afternoon I was out in the back garden and heard the lad from No17 calling "Hershey."

"He's over here ... he's almost always over here ... usually in the kitchen finishing off the food our cats leave." 

I didn't tell him some soft get actually puts more food down for him. 

"Oh.  That's ok.  He never eats what I put down for him.  I did wonder."

 I don't.

Cold Call Role Model

I’ve known Beejay since he started university the year after me.

It’s flattering to be an inspiration to him.

From Facebook Archives 

Beejay 12 May 2021

Spam calls have now gone meta ..."Jennifer" from the 

"Call Blocking Department" phoned earlier to say they could stop me getting unwanted calls.  I needed a break from work and was looking forward to spinning this out in true Bentonbag style until "Jennifer" said I was getting the offer as a senior citizen and pensioner, so I took umbrage at that and she hung up

Beejaysis  You should be more worried that she could tell down the phone...

Beejaybro  It was the phone tracker lack of top of hair app that gave it away- accept that this was that corner of the jay-family norm.  And you are eligible for a bus pass 

(we don't have busses where I live in darkest North Yorkshireshire so I wouldn't know) and I am your peer and retired on a pension a long time ago.

Bentonbag  So flattering to be a role-model for the younger generation.  They keep shifting the eligibility for bus passes up here; as soon as I get near it they make it older.  It's currently 66 but I'm betting that as soon as I get to 65 they'll up it to 70.

Ms Exlibris  Bit like the state pension then.

 

Cold Caller Novelty

From Facebook Archives

11 May 2022 at 13.13

Well here's a new one.

The landline phone rings - I pick up - long satellite delay - then an oriental lady

"Hello, am I speaking to the owner?"

"Who are you?"

"I am calling from the on-sellers of BT.  Are you the owner?"

"The owner of what?"

"TyneBridge Morris"

"Pardon?"

"The owner of Tyne Bridge Morris."

"Tell me, what do you think Tyne Bridge Morris is?"

"It's a pub."

"Well, I have to tell you, much as it might like to be, Tyne Bridge Morris is not a pub.  Have another guess."

"According to our directory is it.  It must be a wrong number."

Seeing as it's a decade since I was a member, let alone an officer, of Tyne BridgeMorris, that's a helluva'n out of date and misinformed directory.

McChurch  At least they didn’t think you owned a bridge.

Drummerman  I’m told bridges are traditionally sold to the gullible, so there could have been an opportunity there.

 

See also

https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2020/07/battle-of-bandanas.html

https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2020/04/dancing-photos.html