The Bastard Husband

From Facebook Archives

16 December 2023 at 09.59

I turned the alarm off last night as I have nowhere to be by anytime this morning.

I have actually finished the Christmas knitting, now it's sewing together and putting buttons on time.

Fester's card still to do.

We need to see what we've got for the boys and see if we need to get anything else (Xmas jumper?).

Then there's (in no particular order): the cake to cook; living room to sort out for the tree; first string of cards up which will be behind the tree; tree to sort out for the living room; gift wrapping to buy; gift wrapping.

Tralalalala lala lala

Bess Cavalier  We've sort have cleared the corner of the living room for the tree, but it won't be going up until son and partner get here next Saturday pm.

Mr Drummerman  As someone has pointed out elsewhere, “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath can be sung to the tune of “Deck theHalls”, and vice versa, of course.

Dr E  Send that in to I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue

16 December 2023 at 10.00

Woke up feeling hungry and fully intended to be good and have porridge for breakfast.

Then the bastard husband starts frying bacon .....

Jay Mural  We had porridge, but I’m wanting bacon now….

Miss Fiddle  I never liked bacon, even when I did eat meat...

Porridge and raspberries for me this morning ( and maybe some golden syrup...)

Bentonbag  Have you tried Maple Syrup in your porridge?

Miss Fiddle  No - maybe I need to try it!

Float  Is there another husband apart from the 'bastard' one?

 

Sick & Attired

From Facebook Archives

15 December 2010 at 10:06

Just fetched Ferretfingers back from college.  He'd thrown up as soon as he got there.  He's now decorating the Christmas tree.

15 December 2010 at 12:29 

Just back from Woodlawn School's Christmas concert.   

Thunderthighs was in charge of the power point slide show that was the backdrop to it all.  Afterwards he comes up to me looking wan - "I feel hot" - so I've brought him home before he throws up like his brother did.

St Bernard  Suppose it's best to get it and recover *before* Xmas.

Mrs Treasurer  We had to make a rapid exit from the concert as my son was then sick.  I watched him from the audience go through the pale face, coughing phase and was frantically signing to staff to get him out of the concert before he was sick.  Oh the joys ......

Bentonbag  I spotted you making for the exit.  The school secretary has your Christmas card

15 December 2014 at 22:52

Oh Great!  Another sneezing fit!  Another cold?

15 December 2018 at 09:14

Today we celebrate Valerian of Abbenza.

I am waiting in for a parcel so there’s an outside chance the letter and cards may be written – or some ironing done.

Had a lovely meal last night at The Cook House (in the Ouseburn Valley) in a surprise celebration for Pearl’s birthday.  Good food and a great catch up.

When I came downstairs all gussied up to go out Thunderthighs looked at me and said “What’s going on?”

So I explained.

“Oh God!  The last time you did that you didn’t get home until midnight and then you didn’t come in to see me but went straight onto the computer and didn’t go to bed until one oh clock!”

He’s never forgotten https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2025/06/rock-chexit.html

Christmas Hamster Moments

From Facebook Archives

14 December 2011 at 12:13

Argos and Comet and Christmas is done - gift-wise anyway

14 December 2011 at 20:25

All cards done - even Fester’s!

14 December 2012 at 16:55

Don't understand the appeal of onesies. What happens if you urgently need the loo in the middle of the night?

Tylefach Mawr You pee down your legsies :-)

FifiD  You take it off before bed of course!!!

Mrs Elswitch  Tiny and Damo have them with bum flaps in. Great for camping!

14 December 2014 at 15:43

Just back from beachcombing at Druridge Bay

Bracing is the word I think but there isn't an emoticon for it - nor windswept either.

14 December 2016 at 08.33

Thunderthighs and I got the tree yesterday.

The Christmas letter is writ so it should be full steam ahead on the cards today: but the domestics can no longer be put aside, we’re running out of clean undies.

Off to Woodlawn this afternoon to do teas, coffees, guess the weight of the cake and a raffle at their Christmas Entrepreneurial Event with Mrs Lasagne.

Just call me the hamster!

 

14 December 2016 at 16.22

Chateau Midden Moments

1. I was upstairs a lot last night, busy with the Christmas letter.  When I went down into the living room Ferretfingers looked at me and said 

"Oh. You're back are you" 

in a disgusted tone of voice.

2. About 10 this morning Thunderthighs came thundering downstairs.

"Where's Dad?"

"He's gone out, I think he's going to the Mining Institute."

Big annoyed sigh then - "The trouble is he takes his money with him!"

A Handful Of Christmas Baubles

from the Facebook Archives

Some years we are more organised than others 

12 December 2009 at 22:28

The tree is up and half decorated as the boys got bored, we have 25 candles waiting to be lit on the mantelpiece, and I've finally made a start on the cards.  All I need now is the hwyl to start my Christmas letter...

12 December 2014 at 20:24

Well that's the Christmas letter written

Float I look forward to it as always!

12 December 2015 at 09.37

The cards are done

Except for the ones I'm going to have to force Fester to add his scrawl to to his friends and cousins

12 December 2015 at 17:09

Fester has signed his cards!

Cousin Daisy Hallelujah

12 December 2017 at 11.23

I shall soon be dashing through the snow with Woodlawn Xmas Pudding Fun Run posters for West Monkseaton.  A bit late this year but I've spread a lot of info via Facebook and Twitter, feel free to share Run info far and wide.

Having got new trainers yesterday, and (oh yes) a tree, Ferretfingers has chosen to wear wellies to the farm today.

Fester is off doing his Santa bit in Waterstones and Central Library.

The card labels have been printed off – but the round robin is only half written.

 

History Repeating

Or at least the Facebook Archives are …

11 December 2009 at 13:48

Fester, God bless him, has just hoovered the stairs

Fifi D  You see you're not agnostic afterall.....xx

Bentonbag  You take after your Great Aunt Elsie

FifiD  That's a good thing right?!!!! Xx

Bentonbag  Ask your Mother.

She told me last Saturday that I also walk like Auntie Larcombe; as well as looking like and having a similar personality!

FifiD  Oh dear sorry to hear that.  Well when I'm rich I'll give you some money for a face lift hairdo new walk and a complete change of genes!!!! Said with love before your mates come back at me!! Xxxxxxx

10 December 2024 at 16.07

Came home from Ouseburn and discovered Fester has hoovered the stairs.

Just looking at old Facebook posts for tomorrow's blog and found

"11 December 2009 at 13:48 · Fester, God bless him, has just hoovered the stairs"

Miss Doozer  He's got an alarm set somewhere hasn't he.  Or maybe it's a biological calling, like eels returning to the Sargasso sea...?

Bentonbag  You'd be looking at him for a long time before thinking of an eel...

Mrs Burser  Is it an annual thing?? Assuming it's not a 15years thing?!xx

Bentonbag  If I'm lucky. Although he went most of the 20th century a stranger to the joys of hoovering.

Paganess  Glad you've recovered, have you found out what he's done?

StBernard  I think the question is: what did he spill?

Mrs Jeremy  'Stands back in amazement' comes to mind! 

Mrs Leftfoot  Yes!!! I could do with some help decluttering and tidying.

 

AuntieLarcombe was Cousin Daisy, my and the rest of the cousins’ Great Aunt.  Having not been blessed with children she was very involved in bringing up her nephews and nieces, and the cousins that grew up in Benton.  I was the youngest of all the cousins and brought up in Carmarthenshire (by FifiD’s Great Aunt Elsie) so have very few, and blurred, memories of her.

I have no idea why we referred to her as Auntie Larcombe, her surname, rather than using her Christian name.