Family Finance

Fester keeps a stash of cash hidden away from Ferretfingers.

Ferretfingers refuses to accept notes with the King on, 

it’s Lizzies or nothing.

Fester did once say, in a very Yorkshire way,

“You’re the only woman I know that has money for looking at purposes.”

30 September 2024 at 10.34

Before going on The Coven I suggested that I might take some cash from the stash.

Fester insisted instead on taking the wad out of his pocket and peeling off some notes.

Over the weekend I used my card to pay for a meal and was reimbursed in cash by the others.

A few minutes ago I counted the paper money in my purse.

"I've £115 here! How much did you give me?"

"£70, and I want it back."

"Do you want a Charlie twenty?"

"I don't care."

I gave him three twenties.

He's just said "I think that's the first time you've given me any money back ... 

I think Charlie blinked."

Coverage?

Fester has a PhD in Entomology.

He has written, co-authored, been listed and mentioned in, possibly, hundreds of learned papers, mostly on invertebrates but also on aspects of ecology and organic farming.

Many of these have now made their way online, where publishers search for authors to approach for articles in their publications.

The search algorithms/engines/bots don’t appear to be very subtle or selective; anyone with the title Dr will do.

This has led to us receiving a number of interesting emails.

From Facebook archives

29 September 2024 at19.37

I couldn't let this pass unmarked.

 

 

Certain people (Drummerman) will appreciate the potential for innuendo.

Drummerman

“Dear Vanessa,

Thank you for asking for a penetrative analysis. I should be happy to give you one.”

Bentonbag  Many years ago (1980s), when I worked with Mr Twifty, we did media analyses to see which local newspapers were best for advertising our client's stores.   

We produced reports with maps of circulation areas, and graphs with columns such as title, circulation figures and how much/what proportion of that circulation was in the appropriate district and the percentage of households reached.  

When I queried whether this final column should be headed "coverage" rather than "penetration" his reply was "Do you prefer to be covered or penetrated?”

Drummerman  Yes, but what’s the back story?

Bentonbag  There isn't one, he simply had an excellent turn of phrase...

Drummerman  Ah! “Swivel”.

Once A Catholic?

From Facebook Archives

27 September 2022

At lunch with Woodlawn friends coven yesterday Mrs Burser gave me this lovely Calla Lily for my birthday.

I've put it on the windowsill next to Our Lady of Fatima and it looks like the most Catholic thing ever.

Mum would have approved.

Woolerwoman  Our Lady looks quite pleased too.xx

Mrs Lasagne  How beautiful xxx very catholic too xxxx

Dr E gave me Our Lady of Fatima when we visited her on the Isle of Wight that Summer.

Which led me to shout out of my Premier Inn window at Fester and Thunderthighs packing the boot to come home ...

“Our Lady of Fatima is in that bag, make sure she’s somewhere she can't get smashed.”

 

Cold Mordor Calendar Fr Ted

From Facebook archives

25 September 2009 at 22:10

Have spent most of the day in bed feeling cold, weak, headachy, crampy and subsisting on lemonade

Ms Exlibris  Was it turning 53 that did it?

25 September 2013 at 09:51

Mordor!

It was so dark when I woke up this morning I though "Shit - I've woken up at 3am again in a sweat and I'll not be able to go back to sleep again for that bastard snoring even over the noise of his breathing machine". 

Then the radio came on and I realised:-

a)  it was nearly 7 and I'd slept through for once

and

b) it was very dark outside - thick mist - had to put the light on in the bathroom to shower ...

25 September 2016 at 16:53

I've just had a look at the calendar for October and realised we have something booked in for every weekend except the first one!  

This is not usual!!

25 September 2020

When Thunderthighs was a baby he would stick out his sippy cup and shout "Drink!"

To which I would reply "Nuns Arse Feck"

Which might explain a lot.

Miss Doozer  NUNS

Dulcima  CAKE!