Cold Caller Baiting #36 What Register?

From Facebook Archives

23 August 2024 at 20.07

Yesterday afternoon the phone rang, I picked up, there was a satellite delay, then a slightly Asian male voice asked 

"Am I speaking to Miss Benton Bag?"

"Who are you?"

"I am Derek Saunders and I'm calling you from Microsoft about the computer registered to your address."

"And where are you calling from?"

"I am calling you from Microsoft offices."

"And where are they?"

"Microsoft head office at 100 Thames Valley Park Reading."

"What's the weather like in Reading today?"

"It's a bit cloudy. I am calling you about the computer registered to B Bag at Chateau Midden, Barony Arbour, Tyneside. "

"What do you mean registered?"

"Every computer that is sold is registered ma'am."

"Registered by whom?  I've never registered a computer.  Who organises and holds this register?  Are you telling me every computer retailer registers every computer they sell?"

"It might not have been registered by the retailer.  It might have been registered by your husband."

"What makes you think I have a husband?"

And there he was gone.

I'd love to know whether his mother calls him Derek.

Miss Drew  Love your stories Ben

Mrs Bauer Well done, Ben.

Anita Too  Brilliant x x

Dicky Brown  How I wish I could just answer ‘Hold on while I put you through to Ben.’

Bear With Me

When a charity is donated wool then one feels one ought to make something sellable with it.

Here’s a discussion about one idea.

From Facebook Archives

20 August 2019 at 21:17

Thank you Ms O’Groats for the loan of the Build-A-Bears.

I've already learnt that their website is not exactly correct when it says they fit new-born baby clothes.  The sleeves would be far too long and they're long in the body too - apart from anything else the tail is covered.  

So I wonder if waistcoats and matching bow ties might be in order.  Or perhaps short sleeved angel tops for a more girly look. 

Thoughts?

Kentishlady  Is this for a particular event?  

When Kentishlad was small, he had a Build-A-Bear.  I made a kilt and jacket for it and a tam’o’shanter.  It had bag pipes too, but I can't remember if I made them.  Did do a border morris kit too.

Bentonbag  No, I'm trying to think of pocket-money-priced things to make for charity craft stall, so I'm thinking dolly or teddy clothes.

Kentishlady  Waistcoats and hats?  You could make hats with openings for the ears for the teddy bears.  Isaac's bear had some sweaters made from left over yarn.

Bentonbag  Do you have any opinion about shorts/knickers with tail vents at the back?  The pattern I'd use has the seam up the back so it would be easy to leave an opening for the tail.

Kentishlady I think that would work.

Mrs Quilt  I think just short boyish waistcoats and girlie Angel tops.  You want to appeal to pester power to bring in the cash!  It's for a great cause.

See Also https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2021/08/bear-waistcoat.html

There will be no blog tomorrow and the day after as I shall be up and out early both days for knit’n’natter and to help on an LDNE bottle stall at a 5k Inflatable Obstacle Course at Gosforth Racecourse.  

Last week I was schmoozing a potential funder at LDNE's Feel Good Festival on Wednesday and scrubbing tables at Springfield Community Centre on the Thursday.   

All part of life’s rich tapestry or, according to Thunderthighs, “ways of getting away from your family.”

 

HOW VERY DARE THEY!

Nothing in the Archives for today so here’s one from yesterday

18 August 2025 at 15.41

According to Facebook

"This post may use misleading links or content to trick people to visit, or stay on, a website.

Bentonbag 18 Aug 2025 at 14.00

I've blogged <<redacted so they don't do it again>>

Feel free to share

You shared this on your profile

This goes against our Community Standards on spam."

Here is the offending link again just in case you missed it the first time

https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2025/08/mp3-player.html

As ever feel free to share.

 

The Beyoncé Belt

Although Ferretfingers can swim perfectly well he’s got into the habit of using a floatation device and would insist on using a pool noodle when swimming with his outreach worker.

When the first Lockdown relaxed enough for Ferretfingers to go swimming the pool authority required swimmers to bring their own floatation devices for hygienic purposes.

17 August 2020 at 11.27

Any ideas where I might buy a macaroni style float for Ferretfingers to take swimming?

Philsniece  A pool noodle?  We’ve got a spare you could have - think it came from B&M originally...

Bentonbag  Fester and Ferretfingers are off to Byker Retail Park so they're going to see if they can find one in JDSports or B&M or somewhere.  That should be fun for the assistants with Fester muttering "pool noodle" through his mask and Ferretfingers flitting off in all directions.  If they fail may I pop over this evening?

photo by George Bosnyak

Philsniece  You’re more than welcome - could also handover Cheap Sunglasses memorability!

Bentonbag   They certainly had memorability!

Pink Shipskitchen  There's a new B&M at Shiremoor, which is much bigger. Or maybe try ordering one online at Argos?

Mrs Quilt  Home Bargains in Killingworth is a very pleasant shop 8am - 8pm.  Shares the car park with Matalan.  No idea whether they sell them.  Perhaps you could ring first.

Paganess  Got mine in Asda

Fester and Ferretfingers' search was fruitless and I ended up taking him to a Start Fitness store where we found buoyancy belts.  They comprise a lot of linked floating lozenges with a clip fastening.   

We bought two and clipped them together to encircle his girth.   

The first time he was getting ready to go swimming with it he asked 

“Where’s my Beyoncé belt?”

It’s been the Beyoncé belt ever since.