Serendipity and Elastic Shortage

Happy Star Wars Day.

From Facebook Archives

4 May 2020

Turned everything off and went downstairs to do the dishes, leaving my mobile on the bedside table. 

Fester appears in the kitchen holding it before him like some explosive device saying 

"I don't know, it had Peter Ceylon on it before I pressed something and it went off."   

There's only one Peter Ceylon on my mobile address book so I phoned him.  He was one of the inhabitants of 16E Richardson Rd but he's so shy he never phones anyone.  But we did have a lovely long chat.

4 May 2020 at 22.23

Squireen, and other Heatonites, do you know if Sainsbury's sell elastic, and if so whereabouts would I find it?

The Squireen  If they do it will be at the end of an aisle..

Bentonbag  I thought so but there's a lot of aisles.  I know whereabouts to find them in Tesco Norham Rd but don't fancy the drive.

The Squireen  Have a change of shop easy to get to now there are traffic lights on the coast road junction.

Bentonbag  It's not me - it's Thunderthighs. I used to go to Tesco with Ferretfingers after Flower Arranging but the broken ankle and present unpleasantness has put an end to that.

The Squireen  Why elastic anyway?

Bentonbag Doll's knickers

The Squireen  Ah. I may have some bits.  I will look tomorrow text me to remind me

Pink Shipskitchen  There's normally a little sewing bit/stand by the pharmacy

Mrs Jeremy  If I had had any in my sewing box, you would have been more than welcome to it but sadly, I don't have any elastic so can't help, unfortunately.

Mrs Quilt  It will be in the stands at the ends of the aisles near to the check outs. It is in little blister packs in a pretty minimal haberdashery. They only have narrow knicker elastic width.

The next day 

Kentishlady  If you need wide elastic, I have some you are welcome to. It's black though.

Bentonbag  Not at the moment thanks. The Squireen has just dropped off some dolly sized bits.

Later still …

Bentonbag  Been to Sainsbury's, found the haberdashery notions unit, elastic peg completely empty.

It wasn’t just bread-flour and loo rolls that shops ran out of during Lockdown mask making. 

 

BBC Coronation Choice

From Facebook archives

3 May 2023 at 08.33

Here we go again.

Looked at the tv listings for Saturday and, guess what!

BBC1, BBC2 and BBC News all showing the Coronation all day.

What about the licence payers who don't want to watch it?

Is there any point in complaining given the replies when we complained about the Duke of Edinburgh's excess coverage?

Dulcima  Happily, I have lots of programmes on my recorder to watch, so I can watch, wipe and make room for more BBC4 when all the fuss dies down.

Miss Doozer  I was hoping to clean Charlie Horse's pissy mats that weekend.  Maybe Saturday will be the best time for it...

Doozer Esq  Surely the TV box must be full of 9000 episodes of Homes under the Hammer by now! A great afternoon's entertainment for all the family.

Bentonbag  Over 100 Murder She Wrote, similar number of Columbo, 50+ Man From UNCLE, 

14 Vera, 2 Dalgleish (so far)

Labourlad  BBC always a propaganda tool.   

Gave tv up a few years ago.

A Good Ratter

This tale contains graphic scenes which may discombobulate readers of a nervous disposition

The Doozers dwell in the other half of this semi.  We share front and back garden fences and, fortunately, similar opinions on gardening and wildlife.

As previously mentioned Jessie-cat from No3 is a regular visitor to our house and, despite (or perhaps because of) my protests Fester feeds him.  I believe there are two other reasons why Jessie keeps calling: 

    his house has three small children; 

    they’ve locked their cat-flap because he kept bringing in dead (half-dead?) rodents.

A couple of weeks ago we had a few days away leaving feeding our cats in the capable hands of Miss Doozer.  On the third day she sent me this text

“I have just found Jessie Cat down the end of our garden with, literally, a rat’s ass.  Arse, two feet and a tail.  Turns out, if you don’t feed him, he makes his own entertainment.”

Both the Doozers and we put out bird feeders which, unfortunately, attract rats.   

I also blame neighbours who put up double fencing and decking which provide highways, hotels and homes for rodents.  To be honest we’re not that bothered as long as they keep themselves to themselves (rodents, that is, not neighbours but ...).   

However, when they start climbing up the trees and down onto the feeders (quite ratrobatically) and/or knocking the feeders onto the ground then it gets a bit much.

One would think three cats in the vicinity would put them off but …

Last Sunday I facebook-messaged Miss Doozer

16.46

“There's been a rat up the tree after the birdfood.  Yesterday as I was sitting under the bower, with Teddy at my feet, looking at the tadpoles, a rat climbed through some vegetation into the pond, had a drink and went away again without Teddy stirring a hair.  Once the rat was gone Teddy went and sat on the bistro chair and looked at where the rat had been.  He did once sort of put his haunches up and I thought he might pounce - but no.

Just now looking out of the bedroom window I saw a magpie on the bower bench.  It went behind and, after a few pecks, brought out a rat.  Which it has proceeded to peck to death.  It tried to fly away with it but it was too heavy so dropped it.  It is now proceeding to consume it, bit by bit, on the lawn.

Meanwhile Teddy is snoozing inside the coldframe.

I'd blog about this but then Mrs Leftfoot would never visit me again.”

She replied

16.50

“Lovely

Glad to see the magpie doing its bit.

Out of the boys, Jessie is the ratter.

Saw him going for them each evening at sundown”

Bentonbag 16.53

“I think the magpie was cheesed off at getting its food nicked. Good for Jessie.

I think Felix is past it now, and Teddy's a paper tiger.”

Miss Doozer 16.55

“Magpie may also have a nest nearby

Offence being the best form of defence”

Bentonbag 16.56

“One did fly off a couple of weeks ago with a smaller rodent Teddy had left on the lawn (not convinced he dispatched it).  Lots of fresh meat for the chicks.”

Miss Doozer 16.58

“The chickens on the yard eat the rats despatched by the cats and terriers.  Lovely eggs with rich yellow yolks.  Yum”

After entirely hollowing out the rat, leaving only its skin with head, feet and tail still attached, the magpie walked through a gap in the fence into the Doozer’s garden.

Then first thing Monday morning Miss Doozer messaged me

07.21

“The magpie has either got another rat, or the same rat, and it is eating it in our garden.”

07.38 Bentonbag

“I put the hollowed out rat remains on the bird table and it went quite quickly so I think it's another rat.  Hopefully the one after the bird food.  Go magpie!”

07.43 Miss Doozer

“In the Terry Pratchett Ankh Morpork books (the ones with Wizards or the City Watch), there is a Dwarf (think the gold and singing type) eatery called Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen

Menu reads

Fried rat

Soya rat

Pizza "Quatre rodenti"

07.44 Bentonbag

“No Rat a Toowee?”

07.45 Miss Doozer

“Oh god

You have to blog this

Drummerman would be in his element”