Saturday, 2 May 2026

A Good Ratter

This tale contains graphic scenes which may discombobulate readers of a nervous disposition


The Doozers dwell in the other half of this semi.  We share front and back garden fences and, fortunately, similar opinions on gardening and wildlife.

As previously mentioned Jessie-cat from No3 is a regular visitor to our house and, despite (or perhaps because of) my protests Fester feeds him.  I believe there are two other reasons why Jessie keeps calling: 

    his house has three small children; 
    they’ve locked their cat-flap because he kept bringing in dead (half-dead?) rodents.

A couple of weeks ago we had a few days away leaving feeding our cats in the capable hands of Miss Doozer.  On the third day she sent me this text

“I have just found Jessie Cat down the end of our garden with, literally, a rat’s ass.  Arse, two feet and a tail.  Turns out, if you don’t feed him, he makes his own entertainment.”

Both the Doozers and we put out bird feeders which, unfortunately, attract rats.   

I also blame neighbours who put up double fencing and decking which provide highways, hotels and homes for rodents.  To be honest we’re not that bothered as long as they keep themselves to themselves (rodents, that is, not neighbours but ...).   
However, when they start climbing up the trees and down onto the feeders (quite ratrobatically) and/or knocking the feeders onto the ground then it gets a bit much.
One would think three cats in the vicinity would put them off but …

Last Sunday I facebook-messaged Miss Doozer

16.46
There's been a rat up the tree after the birdfood.  Yesterday as I was sitting under the bower, with Teddy at my feet, looking at the tadpoles, a rat climbed through some vegetation into the pond, had a drink and went away again without Teddy stirring a hair.  Once the rat was gone Teddy went and sat on the bistro chair and looked at where the rat had been.  He did once sort of put his haunches up and I thought he might pounce - but no.
Just now looking out of the bedroom window I saw a magpie on the bower bench.  It went behind and, after a few pecks, brought out a rat.  Which it has proceeded to peck to death.  It tried to fly away with it but it was too heavy so dropped it.  It is now proceeding to consume it, bit by bit, on the lawn.
Meanwhile Teddy is snoozing inside the coldframe.
I'd blog about this but then Mrs Leftfoot would never visit me again.”

She replied

16.50
Lovely
Glad to see the magpie doing its bit.
Out of the boys, Jessie is the ratter.
Saw him going for them each evening at sundown”

Bentonbag 16.53

“I think the magpie was cheesed off at getting its food nicked. Good for Jessie.
I think Felix is past it now, and Teddy's a paper tiger.”

Miss Doozer 16.55

“Magpie may also have a nest nearby
Offence being the best form of defence”

Bentonbag 16.56

One did fly off a couple of weeks ago with a smaller rodent Teddy had left on the lawn (not convinced he dispatched it).  Lots of fresh meat for the chicks.”

Miss Doozer 16.58

“The chickens on the yard eat the rats despatched by the cats and terriers.  Lovely eggs with rich yellow yolks.  Yum”

After entirely hollowing out the rat, leaving only its skin with head, feet and tail still attached, the magpie walked through a gap in the fence into the Doozer’s garden.

Then first thing Monday morning Miss Doozer messaged me

07.21
“The magpie has either got another rat, or the same rat, and it is eating it in our garden.”

07.38 Bentonbag

“I put the hollowed out rat remains on the bird table and it went quite quickly so I think it's another rat.  Hopefully the one after the bird food.  Go magpie!”

07.43 Miss Doozer

In the Terry Pratchett Ankh Morpork books (the ones with Wizards or the City Watch), there is a Dwarf (think the gold and singing type) eatery called Gimlet's Hole Food Delicatessen
Menu reads
Fried rat
Soya rat
Pizza "Quatre rodenti"

07.44 Bentonbag

“No Rat a Toowee?”

07.45 Miss Doozer

Oh god
You have to blog this
Drummerman would be in his element”

 

Thursday, 30 April 2026

Bereavement and Remembering

From Facebook Archives

29 April 2016 at 09.11

I remember thinking sometime after Phil died 
"Where's she gone? Where's the joyous gleeful girl that used to live in me gone?"
Bereavement causes a metamorphosis in the person left behind.
Yes the joyous gleeful girl went, but in her place is someone harder but kinder, stronger but more brittle, more patient but much less compliant.
What I'm trying to say is you can't 'recover the "you" that went away'.
You grow back into a different you.
And accepting a different yourself can be quite challenging.
Madame Fifi  So true what you are saying Ben.
Henlady  It has taken me the four years since my husband died to accept the new me.
Ms Telyn  Damn you woman - beautiful words and you, you made me cry. Love you.xx

1 May 2023 at 12.32

Yesterday the boys lost another uncle.
Our brother-in-law Steve, Middlesister's husband.
Unlike Fester’slittle brother it wasn't unexpected, far from it as he was moved from Chesterfield hospital to a hospice last week, but even so...
He was also from Sheffield, but a Wednesday supporter, craftsman, golfer, drinker, smoker and an all-round cheerful and pleasant human being.
Some older friends may remember he put double glazing in for Phil and me back in 1992 and discovered the joys of the Cumberland Arms.
We last spoke in February when he phoned to say thanks for his 80th birthday cards and gift.
My memory of him is a chuckling "Ey up me duck."


 

Dragon Travel Language

From Facebook Archives

30 April 2011 at 22:16

I’m taking Thunderthighs to the Town Moor tomorrow at Dawn - he will be dragoning!
Strawangel  Hope it's a lovely day for you all x
FifiD  Dawn? That's early! X
Bentonbag  Up at 3.45.  Meet up at 4.30.  Sunrise at 5.30
FifiD  Home now for a nice brew? Hope it was worth it. X

30 April 2015 at 17:06

Thunderthighs's just gone off to Newcastle College for his Biology GCSE evening class.
"Shall I pick you up at 8 as usual?"
"Actually Mum, do you mind if I come home on the Metro?"
Not at all son, we've been wanting you to do that since last year.
Another step towards being a grown up.
Mrs Allotment  My son's first independent journey was travelling back from Newcastle College. They gave him the skills and he put them to good use by voting with his feet... he'd go in for registration because he knew he should, then turn around, come home, sit in the house until 4 O'Clock (college time) then start to do his own thing!  Concrete thought process mixed with the beginning of self determination.  Used to amuse me (but not college!)
Bentonbag Thunderthighs has been travelling independently to/from school/college for a few years now but the metro home from evening class has been a step too far so I've been going to pick him up.  The problem wasn't fear of the metro at night, or the dark.   
Not at all.  He'd worked out that with class finishing at 8, then a walk to central station, then the metro, then the walk here he wouldn't be home until after 9.  And he has his bath at 9 so he might be late for it.  God forbid his routine should be altered.

30 April 2024 at 08:07

Safely back from the weekend in Chesterfield with Middlesister (who has forgotten her facebook password and isn't bothered).
Phoned home Friday night and asked Thunderthighs whether his father was ok, had he fallen again?
"Not yet."
Ever the optimist!
However all was well on my return.
Bazoukiboy  Not yet??? He has his father’s touch with language
Bentonbag  In so so many ways ....