Tales of Chateau Midden

Wednesday, 4 March 2026

Medical Independence

From Facebook Archives

4 March 2021 at 10.46

The boys have just had their annual medical review with our lovely GP, over the telephone for social distancing purposes. Obviously I spoke for Ferretfingers but Thunderthighs is able to speak for himself.

Last year the review was scheduled for the day Ferretfingers came out of hospital, so I couldn't be with him and he went up and did it alone.

A big step forward.

This year I handed the phone to him, said "I'm leaving the room now so you can have privacy" and went into the kitchen.

This was quite a big step for me as the instinct to help/interfere is strong.

All is well, neither have increased in weight (Thunderthighs may have lost a little) both need to take more green veg/fruit and move more.

Plus ca change as they say in foreign parts.

Miss Doozer Hey, don't we all ? Sounds like a pretty good outcome given all the everything.

Ms Exlibris To be fair just about everyone is in the same boat this year, so that's a pretty good outcome I'd say.

Monday, 2 March 2026

Where is Edna?

When Phil and I moved here in 1987 there were two garden gnomes in the middle of the lawn which he decided were the household gods and called them Lares and Penates.

Over the years they have been joined by other gnomes gifted by friends or found, and some of them are dedicated to lost friends and family. With the exception of Bruce the beheaded cherub whose namesake is still, I hope, alive and well, and the teddy in memory of Paula (whose anniversary is today).

Many years ago Middlesister gave me two little cream ceramic garden fairies, about five inches tall.

One sits on a toadstool, legs akimbo, so like how Mum used to sit that I called her Elsie. She resides in a broken rumtopf-pot. This was originally a gift from Bigbrother which I didn’t want to throw away when it got slightly smashed. She sits in a suntrap protected from the wind; Mother hated draughts.

The other was slightly more glamorous, on one leg supported by foliage, wings extended about to fly, with her hands holding back her windswept hair. Slightly damaged after an accident with the mower where she lost a foot and a wing, Edna, named after our maternal auntie, stood in a broken bowl below Elsie’s pot. The effect was a sort of cataract without the water.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed Edna wasn’t there. I assumed she’d been knocked into the pond by some night-time animal. I’ve frequently had to pull Bruce and Fred (named for Fester’s father) out of the pond.

I had a poke around the detritus in the bottom of the pond with a stick – no joy. Drew an old open fruit basket through to see if that might catch her. This cleared out quite a few twigs and muck, which is all to the good, but no Edna.

Eventually on Saturday I donned a rubber glove and had a good feel around.

At one point I thought I’d got her, but then my hand was kicked as the frog freed himself.

Edna is definitely not in the pond.

But where has she gone?

She’s not shiny and far too big for a magpie or jackdaw to steal.

There are rodents, but how and why would they take her?

Miss Doozer suggests it might have been a fox.

It’s a mystery.

Sunday, 1 March 2026

Happy St David's Day

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Da i pob un o fy darllenwyr

From Facebook Archives a week or so after Ferretfingers (and I) came out of a fortnight in hospital having broken his ankle. He was sleeping in a bed downstairs as he was to put no weight on his ankle for the next four week; and using a commode for toileting as our downstairs toilet is up two steps. I was sleeping in a nest on the living room floor to ensure he didn’t put any weight on the ankle, and was doing all the medicines and most of the other care.

1 March 2020 at 10:14

Washers arrive early (9ish not 10ish).

District nurse arrives early (ditto).

Then I discover:-

a) Ferretfingers has signed us up for more Virgin kids stuff via the tivo box.

b) he knows my tivo pin.

Changing b) will be a work of moments.

Changing a) requires a phone call and will be followed by a massive tantrum.

Fester thinks it's hugely amusing to remain lying in bed and say

"Oh yes I heard the cat crying to be out about seven but did nothing about it."

Yes well I freaking did.

Then it's "Do you want me to be downstairs with Ferretfingers while you're messing about on here?" as if he's doing me a massive favour. When I know he's in the kitchen, currently having breakfast but pretty soon he'll be engrossed in his mining maps and deaf to anything else.

Hope your St David's Day is going better than mine.

Mercy Dunn Ergh families !

Miss Doozer I'm sure I have a picket armband somewhere if you want it...

Bentonbag It'll never get better if I pick it (boom tish I'll get my coat)

Woolerwoman Nice one Ben!

Mrs Quilt Ohh, well done for coping...

Bazoukiboy Happy St David’s Day... I think 🤔

Woolerwoman Poor you Ben! When Ferretfingers can get around again you need a really special treat away from all your boys. Meanwhile we are all here and happy to listen to you let off some steam if it helps.xx

Bentonbag I am off to Bath with the Coven at the start of April. The thought of it is one of the things keeping me going.

I'm also going out to The Cumberland afternoon tea showing of Some Like It Hot, with Mrs Leftfoot next Sunday.

And a Bedroom Farce at the People's Theatre with Pearl and some other friends next Tuesday evening

Heck I'm even looking forward to a committee meeting at Ms Marx's house tomorrow evening.

Mrs Walker Pleased to hear you are getting out a bit. As a former carer I know how important that is! See you soon hopefully.

Woolerwoman Good you are not completely housebound and have some great things lined up. xx

1 March at 10:34

"Have you had breakfast yet?" asks Fester

“No, I'll get myself some now in a minute ... Oh God I've got to give him his pills.”

“I'll do that. What does he have?”

“He has one shit pill, one Ibruprofen and ask him how many Paracetamols he wants.”

"What's the shit pill called?"

“It's the one that isn't Ibruprofen or Paracetamol.”

Mrs Quilt Education is a wonderful thing, bear up Cariad, - almost certainly my spelling will make you wince, sorry.

The approaching lockdown meant almost all the things I had been looking forward to were cancelled.

Saturday, 28 February 2026

Wax Pus Cough

From Facebook Archives

28 February 2023 at 08.32

Thunderthighs has impacted ear wax in both ears.

"Both Ears!?!" he queried when the nice Nigerian doctor told him his right ear was almost as blocked as his left.

I said "It runs in the family. His brother, father and my two sisters all have trouble with ear wax and have all had to have their ears cleared out."

"What do you do about it?" asked the doctor

"Olive oil to soften it."

"Listen to your Mom" he said to Thunderthighs "Your Mom knows everything."

(and he wasn't being sarcastic)

So it's drops three times a day and back in a fortnight to see if they need to be syringed.

That was the 3pm appointment.

At 4.30 I was back up with Ferretfingers with his infected scar, again: the third time since he broke his ankle.

He was given fucidimide (?) cream at his annual medical and, whilst it improved things, it's still red and we we're still getting little drops of pus every few days (sorry if you're eating).

Dr A had a good look through his notes, including the photos I sent during lockdown.

He's got a course of anti-biotics.

Back in a fortnight to see if it's healed and then she wants to organise an ultra-sound to check there isn't anything nasty happening deep down where we can't see it.

Fester was delighted that I was, for once, in on a Monday evening to watch Only Connect.

"You must be feeling better" he says "I noticed you'd done the dishes."

Drummerman Glad you’re feeling better.

Bentonbag Thanks Drum I really didn't want to risk giving Mrs Drummerman this bastard cough. I've not had a full night's sleep for a week even though it is abating now (touch wood)

Doozer Esquire For what it's worth, I get the same from time to time. If he'd handle it you can buy syringes with split nozzles which you can use to safely flush out your ears at home with warm water. I checked with the doc before using it and they said 'go for it'.