Friday 31 December 2021

Married Bliss


On 23 July 2013, after twenty years and two children together, Fester and I were married; which had an immeasurable effect on our relationship.

From Facebook Archives

31 December 2013 at 11:04

Me "It's possible to have a clean bed if your husband gets his fat arse out of it so you can strip it."

Him "Ooo!... A hint."

Thursday 30 December 2021

Knitted Knee Caps

I find it intrusive and annoying when Post Office counter staff ask what’s in any parcel I’m sending.  If I were sending explosives or other contraband I’d be unlikely to admit it so what’s the point in asking?   
But I always tell the truth, sometimes at length.

From Facebook Archives

30 December 2013 at 15:40

Just been up to the Post Office

"What's in there?" asked the Asian lady postmistress of my package.

"A pair of hand knitted knee caps"

God bless her she didn't bat an eyelid

... and I wasn't being sarcastic either

Madame Fifi  What are hand knitted knee caps? I'm an oldie but I don't know what they are...
Bentonbag  I have an ancient pattern book (or rather knitting recipe book) with 2 versions in.  They're like short leg warmers just for around the knee.   
My sister's mother-in-law is 98, chair-bound in a care-home and finds her knees get cold, but doesn’t want to use a blanket (“like some old lady").  Bigsister asked me if there was something I could knit for her and I took great delight in saying 
"Oh yes, I have a pattern for knitted knee caps".. 
I made a pair for the goddaughter last Xmas.. 
My Mum had a WW2 RAF pattern for stuff to knit to keep aircrew warm which included kneecaps but it vanished when the house was cleared.
Madame Fifi I've got a pattern from WW2 days that was my mothers and it seems you can make a vest and socks from one ball of wool. Those were the days. I will investigate.
StBernard  I wonder if the Asian post mistress would've batted an eyelid if you'd said "Something with which to knee cap my sister's mother-in-law" 😁
McChurch  Now, if you had said you could knit knee joints, I would have been on your doorstep tomorrow wiv a chuffin great ball of wool.
Madame Fifi  I think I've missed the point, saying that I have been to the music session and drank loads???? I'm sharing.
Goddaughter  I still have mine somewhere... With matching leg warmers!

 

Wednesday 29 December 2021

Plus sa change ...

From Facebook archives

29 December 2014 at 23:34

Himself has returned from a rare drinking session with Twinny P and Mr Whyte and is now snoring in the bath.

Is it me or does Snoring-in-the-bath sound like a village in the West Country, or Midsomer?   

Would it be Great Snoring-in-the-bath or Little Snoring-in-the-bath?

I am seriously considering decamping to Ferretfingers' room for the night in order to get some proper sleep.

He has now let out the water and is sat farting in the damp bath, making noises like someone strangling a duck.
Mrs Lasagne  Haha ! Sounds like fun in your house Ben xxx
Mr MonkshoodThat is the Fester I know. 
It is comforting to know that some traditions remain intact.

*Mr Monkshood is an old undergraduate university cricket team player friend of Fester's.

 

Tuesday 28 December 2021

Goose V Turkey

From Facebook archives

28 December 2010 at 23:24 ·

We now have a freezer half full of goose soup.

Tylebach   and we have...of turkey lol omg!
Bentonbag  and to add to the silliness: we found a goose less than half price in Lidl after ordering ours from the Grainger Market - so we have a frozen 9lb one in there as well.
Tylebach  OMG I didn't get a bargain I'm afraid, hence the soup...have to make the most of it lol.  Good for you, but you will be pleased to know that I got the Hairy Bikers "Mums Know Best" recipe book and the Christmas one, thanks to you xxx

28 December 2017 at 23:23

Goose stew made and waiting to be put into portions and frozen.

Mrs Banjoman  Well done you. Never cooked a goose so no idea how much meat there is. I take it that it would feed a few.  I bought a ‘small’ Turkey for us and still have left overs.  Sick of it now mind........
And a question.  Does it taste better than turkey and, if so, would it be worth buying one for just two people?  I am so sick of turkey every year.
Bess Cavalier  We had a goose for just 2 of us on Boxing Day. Had it cold on Wed and I made soup with the legs and wings yesterday. Would normally deal with the whole carcass but at work this week and away for New Year so don't have the time.   
The meat is very dark, but very tasty if you get a good one.
Mrs Banjoman  Thanks.  I don’t much like dark meat but Banjoman does.  Something to think about.
Bess Cavalier  We had goose and leftovers soup yesterday.  Very tasty.
Bentonbag  I’ve always been underwhelmed by turkey.  When the boys were little and there was just the two of us for 'proper' dinner Fester used to do duck, which was very nice, tasty and not too fatty if you cook it on a trivet so it's not sitting in the grease - which can be poured off for doing roast potatoes/parsnips etc. 
Goose is quite dark, sort of halfway between duck and beef.  It has a large cavity for stuffing.  The skin is great.  You do have to pour the grease off a couple of times during cooking.  We keep it in pots in the fridge for frying and doing roast potatoes etc for the rest of the year.  I'm sorry I've souped it because you'd be welcome to a taste (I took Mrs Quilt a portion a couple of years ago). This year's 5 kilo (11lb?) goose did 5 of us on the day, 2 lunches for two and a couple of gallons of stew.  Fester will be able to tell you all about cooking times and temperatures.
Mrs Quilt  The portion was very large!  We had lamb by overwhelming vote.  I bought three small “leg butterfly “ joints for four.  No bone, ample for the day, one full joint frozen and a meal for two on Boxing Day.
Bentonbag  It was a very big goose that year.

Monday 27 December 2021

Bilingual Goose Stew






This is the day when the goose’s carcass goes into the pot to be boiled for stew.

Parts of this blog is as bilingual as my childhood was, and Wales still is.

Those unfamiliar with the language of The Lord can have fun with Google translate; it will give a rough approximation.

From Facebook Archives

27 December 2009 at 17:38 ·

Have just made gallooons of goose stew

27 December 2012 at 17:23

This year's goose stew is bubbling away in the jam pan 😀

Tylebach Mawr  Goose jam?
Bentondbag  It's the only pan big enough to take all the stock, vegetables and meat.   
This time tomorrow we'll have a freezer full of single portions in chinese takeaway boxes that'll keep me in lunches for the rest of the winter.
Tylebach  I was thinking about you today as I boiled my scerbwd!! xx
Bess Cavalier  We had a rolled turkey breast this year - the sone is in Australia and we went to my sister's for Christmas Day so only really needed something for sandwiches! Much easier to carve than a 'proper' bird, but you don't get a lovely carcass for soup.
Bentonbag: Tylebach, Tylebach Mawr, Mabymeistre Merchymeister OldestBestFriend - Beth yn y byd yw scerbwd? 'Rwyn flyn ond mae fy Nghymraeg Cwmifor dim yn mynd mor dwfn a honno. A mae ‘e ddim yn y geiriadur ar-lein hefyd :) (#retreatsexhautedbackintoEnglish)
Tylebach  It's the carcass...what did you used to call it in Welsh then?
Bentonbag  Mother was English so we didn't really speak Welsh at home, learnt it all in Cwmifor school.  Daddy used to sometimes speak to me in Welsh if he was feeling particularly emotional about something - and there as some things I can only express in Welsh as well.

 

 

Sunday 26 December 2021

Media Tart Moment

Boxing Day 2014

Many years ago, partly due to my PR skills in promoting TyneBridge and other Morris activities, Mrs Quilt dubbed me “Media Tart”, 
a sobriquet I wear with pride.

Shortly after Ferretfingers started at Woodlawn School I became involved in the Parent, Teachers and Friends Association: it has taken a global pandemic for me to winkle my way out again.

Every Boxing Day for decades I could be found on Whitley Bay seafront helping with the annual fundraising Xmas Pudding Fun Run.   

Amongst other things I would try to get photographs of the first men and ladies in with the starter, Tynemouth MP Alan Campbell.   
Over so many years of standing chatting in the cold, and sometimes rain, we’ve become friendly acquaintances.

After leaving school Thunderthighs started coming down and taking part in the Run.

Due to the present unpleasantness there will be no Xmas Pudding Fun Run this year again.

This is what happened at what turned out to be my last time at the Run.

From Facebook archives.

26 December 2019 at 13:37 ·

Brilliant Xmas Pudding Fun Run this morning.   

We had over 1500 runners.   

Not sure how many over as we ran out of numbers.   

We didn't run out of puddings though as some people aren't that bothered.

I had a wonderful (?media tart?) moment.

A couple of weeks ago Mrs Leftfoot and I went to a Tea Talk by Ann Cleves 

(who writes the Vera books) at LiveTheatreIt was a lovely afternoon, the audience had tea and cakes whilst listening to Ann being interviewed and we were able to ask questions afterwards.

A few minutes after the start of the Run I noticed her watching in the crowd and said to Alan Campbell MP "Isn't that Ann Cleves, who wrote Vera?"

He said he'd never met her so didn't know.

I went over and said "It is Ann Cleves, isn't it?  I was at one of the Tea Talks, you were excellent."

It was her, so I asked if she'd like to meet her MP, which she did.

Coming home in the car I had a sudden thought and said to Thunderthighs 

“Do you realise your mother has just introduced an internationally acclaimed crime novelist to a member of Her Majesty's Privy Council?  Not bad for a little girl from Cwmifor!"

Mrs Leftfoot  It's a small world.

Bentonbag  Just google-checked and it's Sir Alan Campbell MP, so it should read "Knight of the Realm and Member of Her Majesty's Privy Council"
Mrs Poet  Wonderful post
Bazoukiboy  Media tart strikes again😆
Miss Doozer  Eeeh will you still talk to me over the hedge now you're social secretary to The Quality?