Sunday 28 February 2021

And Then He Said

 


From Facebook archives

28 February 2012 at 15:10 ·

Unwelcome reassuring statements of our time #1:
"Well you should be hormonal at your age."

Saturday 27 February 2021

The Queen's English

 From Facebook archives

27 February 2013 at 15:40 ·

Visited Ferretfingers’ college this morning where there was a poster for a meal deal in the canteen which said "select a singular piece of fruit".

Now, unless they've got some very special oranges or bananas, I think they meant "single".

Is it just me?

Or does no-one else expect an educational establishment to be able to recognise improperly used English?

Presumably the people who designed the poster are native English speakers who should at least be aware of the difference between single and singular.

Surely someone somewhere did some copy checking before printing.

Mrs Jeremy It's definitely not just you, Ben!

Mrs JFe No Ben it's not just you!.  Don't even get me started on the use of their/there and your/you're!!!

 

Now that's what I call a singular piece of fruit.

Thursday 25 February 2021

The Morning After

From Facebook archives and following on from yesterday's blog

26 February 2017 at 09:39 ·

Has anyone else had vivid dreams after eating dry roast peanuts?  

Mine last night involved: 
gunmen with bright yellow towels coming out of the house across the road;
being counselled by someone about going into hospital for a hysterectomy; 
my sister and trying not to tell her about it; 
people giving me things;  
Miss Fiddle trying to give me a tiny upholstered chair;
signing a visitor's book; 
and Sean Bean (nothing saucy).   

The only thing I ate differently last night was dry roast peanuts;  it was either them or the excitement of an evening out with Mrs Leftfoot.

Miss Fiddle Not Guilty M'Laud

Ms Telyn Good grief!

Following Sound Medical Advice

Back at the end of 2012, for the sake of my mental health, my GP suggested I go out and do things just for me that are "utterly frivolous and don't involve you in organising anything." 
 
Mrs Leftfoot insisted we do something every month.    
This has included: quiz nights, cinema trips (7 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Dunkirk and Darkest Hour); musical events at the Lit & Phil and Mining Institute; “just going out for a bloody walk”; and, last Summer, socially distanced coffee in the back-garden or either end of a park bench. 
 
If we miss a month we try to have two or three in the next month to catch up.
Leading to interesting conversations like 
“Is this April or May?"   
"I think we’ve done March, so perhaps this is May.”    
Sadly, thanks to this present unpleasantness, we are currently at least nine months behind in our outings.   
Possibly even more sadly, I’ve written Left seven times in the top of my 2021 year planner so I can tick last year’s missed outings off as/if we start catching up on ourselves.
This time last year Facebook memories reminded us how long we’ve been trying to do our monthly “getting outs”.

In Facebook memories for
25 February 2017 ·

This was February's event. Roll on March!!  (We've been out together to an event nearly every month in the past seventeen. We've missed a couple and one month we did two events)

The photo is of me out with Left at a Quiz Night in aid of LDNE at St Bernadette’s Church Hall Wallsend.   

Prior to event we had this Facebook Messenger conversation

BB  Did you see my email about the fundraiser on Saturday at St Bernadettes?  
Or a walk would be good too.
LF  We could do the quiz ... Would Def be something "new" on our agenda.
BB  It starts at 7pm.  Shall I pick you up at 6.30ish?
LF  Go on then. Is it byo?
BB  No! It's RC, there's a licenced Bar.
LF  Stop it!
 
25 February 2020 at 09:26 ·
Surprised to realise we're been doing this for almost 4 years Mrs Leftfoot!  Doesn't time fly when you're having fun!

Mrs Leftfoot If it was 17 months 3 years ago doesn't that make it nearly 4 and a half years now?

Bentonbag You're the mathematician ...
Bentonbag ... and, theoretically, almost can be over as well as under.

 

Tuesday 23 February 2021

Tips for Husbands


From Facebook archives

24 February 2015 at 16:56 ·

Tips for Husbands
1. When you come home and find your wife hoovering do not 

    comment "Oh that's the second time that's been out this year."
2. When you come home and find your wife hoovering do not ask 

    "Is there someone coming to visit?"
Either or both will engender a somewhat dusty reply, or at least a two word seven letter one.

Mrs Leftfoot He's such a sweetie....at least he'd noticed!