Definitions

From Facebook archives

30 June 2019 at 18:59 ·

Yesterday Thunderthighs chose to indulge in some silly, inappropriate, ultimately harmless, loud verbal public behaviour - much to the consternation of those who know him (other than his parents).
 

Discussing this with his father this morning I ended my comments with "Twatt!"
"Harsh but fair" was the reply
"Why harsh? What would you call it then?"
"Pillock"
"What's the difference between a Pillock and a Twatt?"
"A Twatt has more of an air of menace about it"

 

So there you are: etymology as well as entomology.

McChurch  I just wrote that down for future reference. I think "Ya tube" is at the level of "Pillock" on the scale. (For cultural balance).

Bentonbag  We also decided "Wazzock" was at the lowest end of the scale.

 

#Mumbai Surprise

Whenever I blog I share the link to friends and family via email, on Facebook and on Twitter.

When I tweet I put the link, then copy and paste in the text and go through deleting most of it until I just have the maximum number of characters and key words. Then I go through hash-tagging (#) the key words, keeping mostly those that are recognised by the hash-tag system.

Some people and organisations see and retweet hash-tagged tweets appropriate to their cause or interest.  For example any time I #autism or #autistic, it gets picked up and retweeted by some autism charities.

A few days ago in Fester’s Phone Manner I hash-tagged Mumbai.

Imagine my surprise to be notified that Mumbai News & Retweets@RetweetsMumbai had liked and retweeted my tweet.

According to its biography “@RetweetsMumbai  ReTweets from in & around Mumbai & are not endorsements, Use #Mumbai #Bombay for RTs RTs are automated we take no responsibility of the RT's DM for more info”

(DM means direct message)

I wonder whether any of Mumbai News & Retweets 2230 followers clicked on the link, and what on earth they thought when they got to and read the blog.

If so I feel an apology for any confusion or offence caused might be appropriate.

 

 

Jenga

Due to the present unpleasantness there have been no Adult Learning classes available for Learning Disabled and Autistic people since March 2020.

Erica tells me they may be starting up again in September, but I’m not sure I have the energy to make enquiries, let alone organise anything.

Most of the time I make light of life, but every now and again I have to let off steam.

From Facebook archives …

28 June 2018 at 19:05 

I sometimes think my life is a bit like a game of Jenga.

No sooner do I get it all sorted than some bugger pulls a plank out somewhere. 

 

Ferretfingers really seems to enjoy and benefit from his Wednesday morning Adult Learning Alliance Recycled Art Class.   

They've brought out new timetables for next academic year and Recycled Art is shifted to a Tuesday afternoon.   

Tuesdays he’s at the Rising Sun Farm.   

So if he’s to continue Recycled Art I have to change his Rising Sun day, putting him in with a different group of people, or find another similar session elsewhere. 

There's no way I'm changing his days at the Rising Sun, or the Gary Mather centre, 

he seems to be settled and like the people he's with on those days.

 

Anyway, they had an 'open session' this afternoon and some courses are on different days in different terms, or only on for one term not all three.  

Great for people with learning disabilities/autism who need structure and consistency in their lives! 

I believe ALA are blaming Ofsted or the council or both. 

The good news is there is a DIY for Independent Living course* on a Thursday morning for all three terms which might suit him.  Naturally that was the course about which there was no information sheet (we await an email).  

If I get him on it his support could walk him down to the Parks afterwards and we could meet up for trampolining;  unless of course they change the time or day for that over the summer (it has been known).   

It would also mean changing his personal support from a Wednesday to a Thursday and me having him all to myself all day Wednesday.  Not that much of a problem as it means we could get some decent walks in - lots of trips to Druridge, Hadrian's Wall etc.

 

It's just that being continually buggered about gets to you.

Ms Exlibris Ben I have no idea how you deal with this, it would cause me so much stress.

Erica It’s total madness for no reason and we’re in the same boat . Days and courses will change each term but hopefully will resemble cooking and flowers/art.

Mrs Allotment I hope you can get something sorted. And I'm pleased you posted because we've dropped off their radar completely and wouldn't have known the prospectus was even out. I'm a cynic and think they don't send out course details to avoid over subscription, you've got to already be doing a course to be on the list. 

Not helpful if you're someone who doesn't find a suitable course every year, so dips in and out as appropriate. Grumble, grumble........

Erica Nothing gets sent out. It’s supposed to be on the website too.

Enrolment starts 4th July and you can phone or go to Langdale.

They might ask for an assessment so if you phone them today you should be able to get an appointment. Hope you find what you want.

Mrs Allotment Thanks Erica, I'll follow this up

*When I phoned to enquired about this course I was told it was reserved for pupils from a particular special school.  By the time I’d queried why, then, was it on the public prospectus, and got no satisfactory reply, it was full.

 

Fester's Phone Manner

When we first got a telephone at home Mum taught me how to answer it appropriately 

“Hello this is <<our number>>.  Who’s calling please?”

Working in advertising, marketing and public relations I’ve developed a definite telephone manner and ‘voice’. 

Being a scientist Fester hasn’t had this training or experience so most of the time his telephone manner could be described as perfunctory or even abrupt (unless of course I’m on the phone and he’s chipping in).

All phone calls about the boys to schools, education officers, social workers, doctors, dentists, and officialdom in general, are down to me.

But his brother’s sudden death in 2012 meant he had of necessity to speak on the phone to the police, coroner, solicitor, undertaker and friends, family and aged relatives of him and his brother.

It exposed a completely different facet of to his personality.

From Facebook archives three weeks after Littlebrother died …

27 June 2012 at 18:45

I find it really funny listening to Fester being pleasant and polite to people on the 'phone.

So different to hearing him scream "we've got f*****g Telephone Preference Service you tw*t so p**s off and don't phone this f*****g number again" at cold callers.

One does wonder whether an Indian in Mumbai knows what a tw*t is.

Kentishlady  Could you record him doing the rant?  I need some way to put the tw*ts off calling me on my mobile!

Paganess  Oh yes, you could market it and make your fortune!

Bentonbag   I've come to realise he has 2 telephone manners: smarmy and rabid.

 

Fish Guts

From Facebook archives

26 June 2013 at 09:56 ·

Yesterday we went to the Fish Quay where Fester bought himself some fresh sardines which he prepared for his supper, gutting them himself and putting the guts in the swing bin whose lid never closes properly.

The kitchen STINKS OF FISH GUTS which MAKE ME FEEL NAUSEATED.🤢

Why he couldn't empty the bin or put the bastards in the outside wheelybin whose lid shuts firmly, and where the stink would be absorbed or at least ameliorated by used and ammoniacal cat litter, I HAVE NO FREAKIN IDEA!!!

Kippa  Now the bins are emptied every two weeks we put scraps like fish guts, chicken bones etc. in a poly bag in the freezer till collection day.

Henlady  Great idea, thanks for sharing

McChurch  Guys. I don`t think Ben needs advice on how to bin fish guts.

Bentonbag  I find that remark complimentary - yet strangely worrying ....

 

 

Hedgehog Happiness

 From Facebook Archives

25 June 2010 at 22:37 ·

I’ve just found a hedgehog under a sagebush in the back garden - Matilda acted as a pointer looking pointedly and the bush so that I saw it move and went to investigate.

I took out the cat food bowl with the stuff they hadn't eaten, and got some snails out of my brown recycling bin (any I find I put in to go to the great compost heap in the sky - or wherever the bins go)

Every now and again we have a hedgehog visiting the Chateau Midden estate.

The first time I was aware of this was back in 1992 when the back door blew open one gusty evening, shortly after Phil died, and it came in to eat the catfood.

Seeing it cheered me up no end. 

A couple of years later Middlesister, visiting while we were waiting for one of the boys to be born, was having a sly evening fag sitting under the bower at the end of the garden.  She heard a scraping noise and there was a hedgehog coming out of a hole in the bottom of the garage door.  Fester once found one hibernating in there under all his collecting stuff.

Last summer, when I heard and saw we had a visitor, I started putting out rejected catfood for the hedgehog who included us in its rounds.  However this was mostly consumed by Jessicat, who is still making efforts to join our household, so I stopped.

 

A little while ago, driving into our street, I was sad to see what looked like the remains of a hedgehog by the side of the road.

 

A couple of nights ago as it was overcast and a little humid, I went out on a snail hunt.

My torch caught something sitting very still under the apple trees where the birdfeeders hang and bits drop out.

A little hedgehog

I'd guess it was about 6 inches long, and it has the whole summer to fatten up.

I was delighted but didn't want to disturb it so turned off my torch before galloping back into the house and bellowing "HEDGEHOG!" up the stairs.

 

In July 2007 tidying the garden we found this little hedgehog, curled up asleep.  I wanted Thunderthighs to see one close up.            We returned her to a dark, quiet corner behind the compost heap.

 

 

 

Driven To Drink

On the Sunday of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee weekend we received a phone call from Sheffield Police informing us that Fester’s younger brother had been found dead. 

It appears he had come home from work, his heart stopped beating and he went quickly with no signs of distress or struggle.

He died, intestate, in the house he was born in and it was up to Fester to sort everything out; with my help.

Friends, in both real and virtual life, were supportive, practically, morally and sometimes maybe a little less than morally.

From Facebook Archives …

24 June 2012 at 15:25

Feeling a little hollow after going through Littlebrother's paperwork with Fester sorting out the stuff he needs to take to the solicitors.  

Pity it's a bit early for gin o'clock

Tylebach Mawr  Needs must sometimes Ben - 

I don't think half three is too early for an apres lunch tipple

MsExlibris  Nor do I. It's Sunday - we used to start drinking at noon!

Bentonbag  God Bless You both.  Were we talking beer or real ale there'd be no problem (in fact it would probably be fitting seeing as Littlebrother was an authority).  But spirits!  So early in the day!  Seems so louche!  Even in the Chaplaincy-Royal Archer-St Toms-Duke of Welly days we didn't start on the spirits until after Evensong.

Tylebach Mawr  Start singing then! ;0)

Ms Exlibris  You are in that happy age...drinking gin in the afternoon in your 30's and you are on the road to bring a drunk.  At 65 you're a red faced alcoholic pensioner.  In your 50's you can do what you like and don't have to answer to anyone!

Bentonbag  Oh yes I do - I have a 15 year old son.  It's like living with a cross between the Taliban and my mother - no singing, no dancing, no loud music, 

"Where you going?" "What's that?" "What time are you/Dad getting back?" 

"Where've you been?" "What time do you call this?" "Who was/is that on the 'phone/at the door?" - 

If I crack open the gin now he'll give me the skunk eye and think I'm on the road to perdition ...

Ms Exlibris   Tell him sometimes even mothers can be naughty!