The Fly

Fester’s interest in insects started with moths and butterflies when he was nine.  He has a Bachelor of Science degree in Agricultural Zoology (insects, pests and parasites), a Master of Science Degree in Nutrition (the hindgut of rats), a PhD (Doctor of Philosophy) in Biogeography (Factors Affecting the Distribution of Ground and Water Beetles) and is a Fellow of the Royal Entomological Society.  He has earned his living doing the invertebrate aspect of Environmental Impact Surveys (Entomological Monitoring Services), and as a university researcher in insect distribution and the things that affect it.   

He caught a beetle new to science on holiday in Sicily, which is named after him, and can be relied upon to identify almost any British insect.

Thunderthighs is virtually phobic about flying insects and any that wander into his room cause screams, cries of “It’s a wasp” and swearing as he flaps, ineffectually at it to leave.

I’ve learnt to ignore him as I’d just get annoyed if I tried to help.

His father on the other hand, if he is in, will go up to remove the “wasp”.

This happened yesterday afternoon: cries of wasp from son, father thunders upstairs to discover no insect except a fly on the landing window.

After tea I heard this conversation on the stairs:

Thunderthighs “I’m certain that insect in my room was a wasp.”

Fester “No it wasn’t.  And the one on the window was a fly.”

Thunderthighs “Are you sure?”

(Loud laughter from his eavesdropping mother.)

Fester, not unreasonably, “Listen.  I’ve written over a hundred bloody papers on insects.  It was a bloody fly.”