Holy Knickers!

First posted August 2009

I wore the wrong shoes to Tyne Bridge Morris practice a while ago.  They were just that bit too big and moved around as I stepped.  As this was both uncomfortable and slightly dangerous I took them off and danced in my socks …

Actually they were Number One’s cast off socks, an odd grey pair with pink and purple toes and heels.  They were, of course, spotted by Mrs Quilt during a break and commented upon.   

I explained that they’d helped a great deal in teaching him to put his socks on the right way.   

Being autistic he had great difficulty orientating them correctly and the heel always ended up on top of his foot.  I discovered that brightly coloured toes and heels helped him align them properly.  Once he’d grown out of them he’d got the idea and now puts his socks on perfectly.   

Being thrifty I’m wearing them out (George at Asda make surprisingly strong socks!).

Mother of  two Mrs Maths understood perfectly “It’s like some little girls and knickers.   

Which hole do you put your leg in first?  I mean there’s three to chose from.”

“At least” I said too quickly “I’ve got a pair at home with four.”*

“Those are the ones you don’t put out on the line for the neighbours to see” smirked Madame Fifi.

*In my defence they were acquired years previously when a work colleague had an Ann Summers party and I felt I had to buy something just to be polite.  They are damned uncomfortable and have never been worn.