When Women Meet

The do-gooding and social whirl in the run-up to Christmas has finally slowed down and now I’ve only family and friends gifts to wrap, the house to sort out and decorate and the annual amusement of getting Fester to sign the cards to his friends.

On the first Monday of the month I had lunch with the Woodlawn Coven.  Mrs Bun, Mrs Bursar, Mrs Lasagne, Mrs Treasurer and I ran the Parent Teachers & Friends Association for more years than we should have.   

We organised Summer Fairs, did tombolas and beverages at Christmas, Easter, Harvest festival, parents evenings and other events, and helped run the famous Xmas Pudding Fun Run.  The global pandemic finally brought our involvement to an end.  But having been a team for so long we like to get together two or three times a year.

As we waited for our Christmas lunch to be served we pulled the crackers and started reading out the riddles.

“When I am young I am tall.  When I’m old I am small.  What am I?” read Mrs Bun*.

She noticed my shoulders starting so shake.

“None of that Ben” she said sternly “this is a family friendly cracker.”

Later the conversation got around to the pandemic, lockdowns, Eat Out to Help Out and people’s behaviour.

“Tynemouth was gridlocked” said Mrs Lasagne “Shoulder to shoulder.  You couldn’t get down the street.  Someone weed on the back wheel of our car!”

“You got parked then?” said Mrs Bursar

“No!  We were in the car at time.  Like I say – gridlock.”

“Was it a man or a woman?” asked Mrs Treasurer.

“A man of course.”

“Was he drunk?” asked Mrs Bun

Whereupon I heard myself saying “Well it’s to be hoped he was…”

That evening I attended my local WI’s committee meeting at the president’s house.

The conversation got around to how often members attended meetings, levels of commitment and how important, or not, that was.

Mrs DC, the WI treasurer, said “Do you remember Mrs Suchandsuch?  She was big into the County Federation and really committed; couldn’t understand people missing meetings.  She once said to me ‘I’ve been in the WI for forty years and I’ve never missed a meeting.’”

Mrs Knitivity tutted and said “I bet she had a regular bowel movement every day as well.”

Last night on BBCFour I caught the start of ‘VictoriaWood: As Seen On TV’.   

It was too late for me to stay up and watch it, but I’m beginning to think I don’t need to.

*The answer is candle.