DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

Yesterday’s blog about Tommy Cooper of the Cumberland Arms brought this memory from a musical friend we shall call Matey.

Went in one lunchtime.

Tommy asked if I knew how to light a fire ?

I looked and saw sea coal at the bottom, a layer of sticks and smouldering newspaper on top .

Tommy then asked if had any petrol ?

Filled a 1/2 pint glass from the fuel pump on the van and he walked in and before I could stop him he threw the lot on the fire.

Phew, nothing happened .

Stood at the bar ordering a drink then BOOM and a flash flame filled the room ending inches from the bar .

Tommy chuckled a said ''There, that worked !''

 ***

For young people who have never lived in a house with a coal fire:  a fire should be laid with twisted newspaper at the bottom, then a layer of dry sticks for kindling and coal on top.  You put a lit match to the paper, the heat and flames rise to light the kindling wood which burns hot enough to set the coals alight.

In the poem Macavity there is a line "He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity."

Tommy seems to have attempted to break the laws of physics.

And as all old Trekkies will tell you "Ye canna defy the laws of physics, Captain!"