Murderous Intent

Mrs Eft and I have known each other since our first days at Newcastle University when we both lived in Easton Hall of residence for ladies.

Our fathers were born within days of each other; her parents were Navy, mine RAF.

She spent most of her career working for the police in a civilian capacity.

Sunday’s blog (Oh No Not Again) brought forth these emails:-

Re: Ben’s blogged

On 21/04/2024 17:20 BST Mrs Eft < > wrote:

Oh, poor Fester. I've said it before, but he really is a delicate little hot-house plant, isn't he?

However....

a) Is he naturally accident-prone, or do you think he does it on purpose, for sympathy?

b) I thought he got the nose from you twatting him over something or other.

Re: Ben’s blogged

On 22/04/2024 08:09 BST Bentonbag, < > wrote:

Not guilty m'lud

He had that nose before I met him.

Photo taken Summer '79 for brochure printed Summer '80.

First met him Christmas 79

Re: Ben's blogged

On 22/04/2024 08:53 BST Mrs Eft < > wrote

Hmmm! OK, I'll let you off. Its a plausible excuse. X

And Tuesday’s (So Many Things) this missive:

Re: Ben’s blogged

On 23/04/2024 08:19 BST Mrs Eft < > wrote:

“I blame an impatient fat-fingered bastard hitting the wrong key several times...”

C'mon, Ben!  You must have twatted him at some point, even if you didn't cause the nose job.

Our relationship has always been like this.

A few years ago I wrote in http://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2018/01/another-chateau-midden-morning.html

“The problem is Fester turns the radio on as soon as he’s awake enough to move.  

He then goes back to sleep, snoring so that I can neither sleep nor follow what’s being said on the radio.  I’ve been complaining about this for almost 25 years; and shall quote it as mitigating circumstances in the manslaughter trial.”

 

Which elicited this email

The only way you'll get charged with manslaughter is if you give him a hefty shove at the top of the stairs, he falls arse over tip and breaks his neck, then you weep non-stop all through the 999 call AND the entire interview process, saying you'd both been pratting about, you'd only given him a slight push out of the way, he'd overbalanced etc etc and you are devastated (sob, sob, sob).

That might, just MIGHT, do it.  Otherwise it's a murder charge and you have to convince the jury.

Oh, and make sure the boys are out of the house or asleep.

Mrs Eft xx

I responded

This is why I love you

and why I shall never call you as a character witness

xxx

Her reply

Very wise.