Virgin On The Ridiculous

From Facebook Archives

15 August 2023 at 16.01

Up here checking emails (ok scrolling through catalogues) and hear noises of distress from downstairs, which I ignore.

 

"Mu-um I've broken the remote."

It's come apart before and I've managed to click it all back together again, but this time it's comprehensively kit-formed. I have no idea where that little spring thing by the batteries go and the outer casing is in two bits (superglue?)

So I phone Virgin for a new tivo remote.

Go through various menus and eventually get to 

"Press the key with the third letter of your memorable word."

WTF! 

I've been with Virgin since before the millennium FFS.   

Yesterday, watching Pointless, I couldn't remember the name of prime minister 

Harold MacMillan.

"We can send a link to your mobile phone."

Yeah, right, that'll do a lot of good on my not smart phone.

Keep pressing # until they give up and put me through to a human.

Name, phone number, security details from my last bill?

Back upstairs to the office, go into emails, find July's bill.

We're back to the memorable word...

"For goodness sake young woman, I've been with Virgin since before the millennium, I've got the bill up, I can tell you what and when I last paid."

"Can you give me your bank sort code so we can pass security?"

Back downstairs to get purse from handbag muttering "up and down the stairs like an effing monkey."

Finally satisfy the woman that I really am the person in charge of this account and I really do have the authority to purchase a new tivo remote.

It's going to cost £9.99 and arrive in the next three days.

Oh, and they're going to send an email asking how the call went.

I bet it's not open ended questions.

The Squireen  Is that from an old TiVo box. I have one you can have.

Bentonbag  It's a V6 whatever that means.

The Squireen  I will pop up later with it

Bentonbag  Thank you. It will save a lot of heartache. Would you like some jam or chutney?

The Squireen  No thank you. I have been given some by Sandy.

Later

Bentonbag  Hurrah it works. Thank you Squireen

Later still

Bentonbag  Just for fun I tried putting it back together and - bugger me! - it works.  Hence all the tapes.

So if/when Virgin's arrives we shall have two spares.

Despite the God-awful-fall-off-everything design I'm impressed by how sturdy the damn thing is.

PS It still works, mostly.