From Facebook Archive
29
November 2022 at 16.29
I'm
nithered. Just spent the best part of two hours enabling Ferretfingers woodcarving
(or in his case stripping logs of bark) at Ouseburn Farm OUTDOORS. I was
prepared with thermal vest, thick shirt, loose woolly jumper (to trap air),
hoodie, coat, hat and gloves.
We've
been shopping in Sainsbury's, I've had a cup of coffee and I'm still cold.
Next week
I'm donning Phil's old longjohns (wot he wore to play in Tynemouth Station
market in the winter) and I don't care who knows it.
Shipskitchen
Ah! So that’s how he was warm enough and I wasn’t! The monkey!
Ms Delune Ah yes. I
have announced to the family that this is the last year of me being the token
female carnival role: if this stupid hobby means performing outdoors in pouring
rain in November then it’s gender neutral and 80 bloody layers, not cheap satin
and bare arms!
Bentonbag
Damart do some remarkably pretty undergarments. Well, lacy at the neck and sleeves anyway. And in interesting colours. I'm particularly fond of my magenta long
sleeved v-neck vest.
Ms Delune
Magenta would have been good- had a white thermal but kept showing even
though pinned in place. Next year I’ve given myself the warm costume- my turn!
Burney
I thought about him today when for no apparent reason "The Greatest Auctioneer" came into my head. (it may not be called that)
Bentonbag
It's in mine now! George Welch wrote it. Bits of the lyrics are coming back to me
“When I was just a little kid
My father said "Now look here Sid
I want for you to be an auctioneer"
I thought it strange cos my name's Bert
But I didn't want my daddy hurt
So off I went to be an auctioneer.
…
We went to the auction mart
Me arse was bruised on the old ranch cart
I thought I'd never have straight sex again
Did you?
No“
...... The only other lines I remember are:-
"I sold the chickens on the ranch
Sold Uncle Jed and Auntie Blanche”
You'll have to fill the rest in for yourself.
Bentonbag
Ah yes. I'll never forget when the audience laughed out loud at the
third verse of Ninestone Toyboy, which I'd written. Wonderful feeling to make a whole room laugh; I
know why standups do it.
Also when they sang "Why? Why? Why? Delilah" and the room, as
one man, went
"da da dada dada da" and both Phil and George corpsed
and had to start again.
Burney
I remember either Phil or George saying to a little boy that was there
"go and tell your mam she wants you". Also lots of one line ‘songs’ like “hebburn
must be missing an angel”, “hebburn I'm in hebburn”,”three steps to hebburn”.
but lots!
Bentonbag
That was George.
“There's a lady who goes
All the way down Shields Road
And she's buying a carpet in Beavans”
(although I think that one might be credited to Mr Whyte)
“Knock knock knockin on Bevans' door.”
And of course their famous original Ashington version of Flowers In The Rain:
“Eh'm just sittin watchin flooers in the rain
Feel the pooer of the rain
Mekin me 'lotment graa.”
Sandy “Imagine there's no Beavan's”
Post Script
Looking
for links for this blog I googled Cheap Sunglasses Serenaders and found
that someone had put their cassette on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjl_X3VkHLwpps George was from Byker, Phil from Wallsend
ppps Kudos to George Bosnyak who devised and took the photo above, which worked on t-shirts, posters and this photograph of a much folded poster.
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