The Inverness Problem

From Facebook Archives

6 July 2021 at 09:03

I've blogged https://bentonbag.blogspot.com/2021/07/beware-of-bounce.html  Feel free to share.

There seems to be a theme developing this week ...

Thanks Sheamus Murphy for accessing the archive for me, and Drummerman for emailing another useful item for future use.

Jay Mural  Even us smaller ladies have bounce trouble after having kids!

Drummerman  Of course no one considers the trauma of band members having to keep dodging...

Mrs Leftfoot  You should be so lucky...

Drummerman  All fun & games until someone loses an eye…

Miss Doozer  First time on a horse in my... Adult... frame - necessitated an immediate post-ponysquashing trip for some high impact structural engineering and some equally fearsome padded ladypants (to avoid The Inverness Problem) Haven't looked back.

Bentonbag  I'm intrigued by yet frightened to ask about The Inverness Problem.

Miss Doozer  The name derives from an ancient thread on Chronicles of Horse - the full thread title gives you an idea of the contents: https://forum.chronofhorse.com/.../practical.../111042/5 Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"

Drummerman  I have to confess to googling it. Thought it might be to do with the creation of the Irish Free State (The Inverness Conference).

Bentonbag  Drummerman I wondered when you'd chip in. Miss Doozer just explained it to me over the garden fence, with any luck there was nobody in the gardens behind, or the shrubbery deaden the conversation.  Actually, I was wondering why McChurch hasn't asked to have it explained, him living in Scotland and all.

Drummerman  Another friend has been expounding on similar problems from lady cyclists. Look, I’m married to a nurse and have been in the band for three female Morris sides - I’m no stranger to this sort of discussion.  Anyway, blokes have their sensitivities too, you know.

McChurch  I am not going to demean myself with such smut. I have a reputation to maintain.

Firing On Most Cylinders

I take part in the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing and yesterday the ELSA lady visited to do my biennial interview and questionnaire

Some of the tests are on memory and thinking skills.

The computer reads out a list of ten words which you have to repeat.

"Hotel, river, tree, skin, gold, market, paper, child, king, book"

Which was correct.

"Not many people get all ten, and in the right order.  You're only the second person I've done who did."

"You just visualise a hotel by a river where there is a tree growing with skin not bark, you find gold, take it to the market and exchange it for paper money, see a child, who puts on a crown and becomes and king, and it's all in a book."

"The other person who got them all right said something similar."

Then she asked me to name as many animals as possible in a minute: 35 which was also a record.

Then count back from 20 to 1.

Then subtract 7 from 100 and down-over.

Then back to the ten words

"Hotel, river, tree, skin, gold, market, paper, child, king, book"

"Wow, not many people get them all right, and in the right order, the second time.  

At most they get one less."

"Well it's the same list as I had two years ago."

Mind you, when she asked me the date I said 4^th of July 2014.

And we did laugh at the “Who is the Prime Minister?” question

The Putting Away Fairy

From Facebook Archives

4 July 2019 at 11:16

We've just done the Sainsbury shop and there was a machine-full of washing to hang out so I asked Thunderthighs to put the shopping away.

"I don't know how."

“Well, you know where you go to find things when you want them?”

"Yes."

“Well that's where they go: that's where the Putting Away Fairy puts them so you can find them.”

The shopping is put away, mostly in the right place.

I shall teach him the store-keepers’ code of bringing the old to the front and putting the new at the back another day when I have the strength.

🛍🛍🛍

When she was a WAAF Mother worked in stores in the RAF; which may be why I get truly irritated when Fester just dumps new stuff on top, or in front, of old with no reference to best-before or use-by dates.

 

Keep Up

I thought I didn’t have time to blog today, then this came up in Memories and couldn’t resist.

From Facebook Archives

3 July 2020

Me "I've just had an email to say they're delivering that parcel today"

Him "Which one?"

"Ferretfingers' birthday present."

"I thought that was out of stock."

"No that was last month's pyjama parcel, which was out of stock but now isn't. Keep up!"

"There's so much going on I can't keep up."

"If there was nothing going on you still wouldn't keep up."

Three weeks off our 7th wedding anniversary, which is woollen (ain't google/wiki grand?)

Later

Actually it wasn't Ferretfingers' birthday present it was parts of Thunderthighs' birthday present, and my freebie thermal bag and bottle holder. I only bought the jarmies to get the freebie. 

No wonder the poor old bugger can't keep up - mainly because he doesn't bloody listen but that's another story.

Mrs Quilt  What comment could we possibly have...