Foot in Mouth #2: Your slip's showing

First posted May 2008

I will admit that I regularly engage my mouth before putting my brain into gear (as my Oldestbestfriend says).

Here are more examples.

In both cases I was drinking lime and soda.

The prim and easily shocked should read not further.

One evening in the Punchbowl after Tyne Bridge practice we somehow got around to talking about washing and drying socks and how there’s always an odd one.   

Mrs Recorder suggested that they usually end up sliding behind the radiator when being dried.

“Oh yes” said Guitarman, a painter and decorator by trade “I’ve found some interesting things behind radiators – pairs of knickers and the like.  Clean of course.  That explains it, they’ll have slid down the back after being washed and put there to dry.”

I demurred “You never know – they may have been flung off in a moment of passion and fallen behind the radiator.”

Guitarman gave me a long, calculating, old fashioned look and said “By – you must have had an interesting life.”

(The only reply to which is a Mona Lisa type smile)

Another evening, this time in the Cumberland Arms Byker, we were discussing the propensity for things to ‘pop’ and pieces of kit to slide off at inappropriate moments (hence the stash of safety pins in the Bagman’s bag).  We reminisced with stories of petticoats being stepped out of, tights being held up with safety pins, and one handed hanky dances whilst the other hand held a skirt up.  As my mother used to say  “you should have used stronger elastic.”.

“Well” says I “I’ve never lost my knickers”

Then I saw the look on Drummerman and Banjoman’s faces and added

“At least not in a dance.”

There was another pregnant pause which I filled with

“I thought I’d better add that rider.”

Raucous laughter from the men followed by Banjoman’s comment “There was no need for that Brenda.”

(as they say ‘when you’re in a hole – stop digging)