Thursday, 19 May 2016

Ooh Err Mrs Phnaar, Phnaar



First posted March 2008

Last night I finally managed to prize off a pair of speakers my late husband Phil had fixed to wall above the kitchen door.  They used to be linked to the music centre in the living room so we could listen to cd’s whilst washing up or cooking.  They ceased to function after Number One Son turned the volume up to 11 when he was a toddler.  After the best part of two decades the adhesive pads had finally degraded sufficiently to pull the speakers off the wall and cut away the redundant cables.

The kitchen ceiling is wood panelling, ideal for screwing hooks into and hanging things off.  The wall above the cooker and sink is entirely hung with saucepans of all sizes, colanders, sieves, serving spoons and various implements and gadgets.  This makes everything to hand and easy to find, and looks quite decorative.

With the speakers gone there is another piece of wall available – and I know just what I want to put there.

Fester came into the kitchen.

“I’m taking Number Two into town tomorrow” he said “is there anything you want?”

“Ooh yes please.  Could you go into the Grainger Market and get me some cup hooks?  I want to hang my jugs off the kitchen ceiling.”

“That’ll bring the tears to your eyes” was the tart reply.



I think he listened to far too much Round the Horne.

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