Bereavement and Remembering

From Facebook Archives

29 April 2016 at 09.11

I remember thinking sometime after Phil died 

"Where's she gone? Where's the joyous gleeful girl that used to live in me gone?"

Bereavement causes a metamorphosis in the person left behind.

Yes the joyous gleeful girl went, but in her place is someone harder but kinder, stronger but more brittle, more patient but much less compliant.

What I'm trying to say is you can't 'recover the "you" that went away'.

You grow back into a different you.

And accepting a different yourself can be quite challenging.

Madame Fifi  So true what you are saying Ben.

Henlady  It has taken me the four years since my husband died to accept the new me.

Ms Telyn  Damn you woman - beautiful words and you, you made me cry. Love you.xx

1 May 2023 at 12.32

Yesterday the boys lost another uncle.

Our brother-in-law Steve, Middlesister's husband.

Unlike Fester’slittle brother it wasn't unexpected, far from it as he was moved from Chesterfield hospital to a hospice last week, but even so...

He was also from Sheffield, but a Wednesday supporter, craftsman, golfer, drinker, smoker and an all-round cheerful and pleasant human being.

Some older friends may remember he put double glazing in for Phil and me back in 1992 and discovered the joys of the Cumberland Arms.

We last spoke in February when he phoned to say thanks for his 80th birthday cards and gift.

My memory of him is a chuckling "Ey up me duck."