Neighbours

From Facebook Archives

17 February 2022 at 19:14

No 17 and No 4 in our road are both up for sale.  Good street handy for local shops, dentist, two GP surgeries, Metro station and bus interchange.  Most of the neighbours are very nice.

Doozer Esquire  Not all of them though.  There are those reprobates at number 15.  

Bentonbag  Was it you who put all those booze bottles in my glass caddy this morning?  I went out the front to add some plastic bits before the binmen came, lifted the lid and thought "Those weren't in there last night!"

Thunderthighs' money's on No11.

Miss Doozer  No it was me.  In my defence you offered when we had our caddy nicked and I won't pay for a new one...

Also in our defence those are what we have gone through since Christmas.

Doozer Esquire  Miss Doozer's a bit of a lush I'm afraid.  It's the pressure of having me as a boyfriend...

Miss Doozer  There were four beer bottles, one mini wine bottle, one champers, one gin.

I don't drink gin.

Doozer Esquire  I do, to deal with living with Miss Doozer.

Miss Doozer  IT WAS ONE BAG OF HAYLAGE IN THE CAR

Bentonbag  I thought I saw her going down the path on a mission when I was having breakfast.  Your empties are welcome in my caddy anytime.  Besides which, whenever I can get away with it I dump as many of Ferretfingers’ stash of brochures, magazines and newspapers as I can get away with in your bin.

You probably need a drink to cope with the noise coming through the walls: shouts of "Shut up Ferretfingers!" and "TURN THAT DOWN" etc.

Miss Doozer  Nah that's no bother.

Slightly concerned that, from this exchange, it's becoming apparent that "most of the neighbours are nice" really means "most of the neighbours are nice apart from the ASBOs at 13/15".

Bentonbag  It's best people are prewarned.