Cold Caller Baiting #14 Neither Shaken Nor Stirred

From Facebook archives

29 July 2015 at 14:08 ·

Phone rings.

Satellite delay.

Then a male African voice (makes a change from chinese/asian) asks 

"May I speak to the person in charge of the computer in your home?"

"How do you know I've got a computer in my home?  Who are you and where are you calling from?"

"Why are we born upright?"

"What is your name? I don't speak to anybody without knowing their name."

"My name is Bond, James Bond."

"Well I'm Pussy Galore.  Now bugger off."

You've got to admire the chutzpah.

 

Nailing It

From Facebook archives

28 July 2017 at 18:21 ·

Fester comes into the office and asks "What was that ruckus downstairs?" 

(he'd been in the kitchen at the time but allowed me to go downstairs to sort it out).

I explained ...

There had been the sound of a slap followed by Ferretfingers screaming.

In the living room I found Thunderthighs looking guilty and anxious and leafing through the Argos catalogue.

"Did you hit your brother?"

"Yes"

So I took the Argos catalogue and clouted him with it (there's a lot of my mother in me).

"Don't hit your brother it's bullying and cowardly.  Why did you hit him?"

"He was trying to cut my toenails."

Ferretfingers has a thing about nails.  He's picked all his off and will start on anybody else's that come within range.   When they shared a room he used to pick off Thunderthighs' toenails when he was asleep.  I'd go in at night and find him standing in the dark with his hand under the foot of the top bunk duvet.

"Well you can't blame him.  I keep telling you to cut your toenails.  You're starting to look like a hen, the length of them."

Then "Ferretfingers, don't pick your brother's toe-nails, he doesn't like it."

Husband watches silently as I collapse with hysterical laughter half way through this account.

It's no wonder I've gone grey ....

 

Ms PH  Lucky your partner is so 'hands-on' or you'd never cope 😉

Strawangel   Pretty much the same in this house 😂 😂

Mrs Quilt  Is that an extension of picking all textiles and seams apart?

Bentonbag  Chicken & egg ... 

Form Filling Blues #2

If you have a disabled child you end up doing a lot of form filling then when they reach adulthood you get the opportunity to fill in some more.

As I mentioned previously I hate, loathe and abominate official forms and actually feel physically sick with anxiety when one is put in front of me.

Those newspapers, and people, who claim it's so simple and easy to get benefits should really try filling one of the claim forms for themselves, or someone they love.  Then imagine what it's like being confronted with one on a regular basis. Or being required to fill one in on-line without the technology, skill or mental ability to do so.

From Facebook Archives

27 July 2017

About three weeks ago an envelope addressed to Ferretfingers landed on the map.

A Capability for Work questionnaire from those lovely Jobcentre people with the message

"Fill this in and then we might bring you in for a face to face assessment".

So I rang his Enablement Officer who, God bless him, came out, metaphorically patted my hand, said "You can fill that", gave me some pointers and, within a week, hand delivered a 

"To whom it may concern" letter about Ferretfingers from the local authority Community Learning Disability Team (in a nutshell "He's on our books, he's learning disabled and vulnerable").

Finally gird my loins and answer the 20 pages of questions in a way that shows my child at his worst and most disabled.  Scanned them and the Enablement Officer's letter and created a pdf for our reference.

Up to the Post Office to get a proof of postage for the pre-paid envelope.

"I don't blame you love" says the Asian post-master understandingly when I said

"It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I don't trust them."

Then home to get him to sign the acceptance forms for Adult Learning Allotment Gardening and Recycled Art courses next term.
The good news is Inclusive Trampolining at The Sports Centre is moving to a Wednesday afternoon so he can do that as well as the Art course.
Now to organise a pa for Wednesday morning Art at Norham.
It never stops ...
But God help them if they want to see Ferretfingers face-to-face.

 

 

 

Post Script - They did not call him in.

 

 

In Memoriam

From Facebook Archives

26 July 2015 at 20:05 ·

This is Fr Conleth O'Hara OP (Orderof Passionists), Llandeilo's Catholic parish priest for decades, and a friend and support to my parents.  He was quite ecumenical and was sometimes invited to preach in the local chapels (we have various forms of non-conformist in Carmarthenshire).

When Mother's Alzheimer’s meant she could no longer climb the steps up to St David's church he came out and said mass in our front room; with Granma's brass candlesticks for the candles and Dad as altar boy. Which must have broken some canon regulation as Dad was Anglican.

Sadly Fr Conleth was retired to London and was unavailable when Mum died - but his legacy meant she had a funeral in both St David's RC and St Paul's Church in Wales (i.e. Anglican) Manordeilo with priests of both denominations.   

When he learned Dad was dying he travelled down to visit and pray with him.   

Then he asked my brother if he could visit Mum's grave.  Bigbrother was happy to take him, and was touched to witness Fr Conleth saying prayers for her too.

This good cheerful hardworking man has finally gone to his rest and his funeral is tomorrow.

Bigsister is going to represent the family.

Asking if those of you who do such things could remember him in your prayers is the most appropriate way I can think of honouring his memory and saying 'thank you'.

Pinkitchen  He'll be in mine. xx

Miss O’B Oh  I wonder if any of the priests from Minsteracres are going.  I'm sure there'll be prayers at the monastery if you wanted to visit a Passionist order.

Mrs Lasagne   In my prayers RIP xxxx

Miss Fiddle  Will hold him in the Light (Quaker way of holding in prayer).

Paganess   Candle lit for him x x x

 

Post Script 2021

At the end of Fr Conleth’s funeral a man sitting in front of Bigsister turned to her and asked

“Are you Bentonbag’s sister?”

Somewhat taken aback she confessed that she was.

It was Mr ETwin, a friend from Newcastle University Catholic Chaplaincy day, who I’d seen only once in the four decades since we graduated.

He’s a Facebook friend so I suppose he was alerted to her presence by that post.

But it was still remarkably perceptive of him to spot a family resemblance.

 

Addendum

I have just received an email from Bigsister which reads

"Your friend said it was my singing which first alerted him to my presence . I was right behind him in full voice, Welsh style!! xx"  

Correction

Via Facebook from Mr ETwin

"Yes, definitely one of the good guys! He spent his declining years in Highgate (London) but every summer he left us a list of parishes across south Wales where he moved from one to the next doing supply, and that was his summer sorted. Incidentally it's CP (Congregation of the Passion). OPs are Dominicans (Blackfriars!), wouldn't do to get them mixed up."

Wedding Lines

 

I was first married to Phil in October 1990.

Cancer claimed him in September 1992, two weeks before our second wedding anniversary.   

All those words and good wishes from so many people, and that happened.   

I couldn’t bear to hear wedding services, even fictional ones on tv reduced me to tears of … What?  Envy?  Anger?  Resentment?  

Actually saying them again would have been a real problem.

After the boys were born the subject of marriage would occasionally come up in a somewhat desultory manner, much to the amusement of Bazoukiboy at Christmas dinner.

Then Fester’s Littlebrother dropped dead and concentrated the mind on mortality and the necessity of having property properly organised ‘just in case’.

 

From Facebook archives …

23 July 2013 at 20:27 ·

Twenty years to the day that Fester's charm offensive finally succeeded we are married at North Shields Registry Office.

Neither of us wanted a big do:  

him because he hates ceremony and me because I didn't want to deal with the emotions of a roomful of people all thinking "I hope this one doesn't go and die on her" or things to that effect.

Also, last week, Ferretfingers looked at me and said " Sienna Pond will be looking after me on the wedding day." 

He looked really anxious when I said No. 

Then I realised why.

I told him it would be just Mummy, Daddy, Ferretfingers, Thunderthighs, Mrs Quilt and Bazoukiboy.

"No people, no music, no fuss."

He's come up to me every day since, looked me in the eye and repeated 

"No people, no music, no fuss" just to be sure.

So we all had a lovely day, and a lovely lunch at the Wooden Doll.

Thank you Mr Quilt for the photos and video.

23 July 2014 at 11:37 · ·

Fester is feeling quite smug because he's given me a card for our wedding anniversary, and I didn't get him one!

McChurch Ben, I have a secret network of agents who remind me when my wedding anniversary is coming up.  Still don`t get it right every time.

Henlady My late husband had one which he kept in a drawer and brought it out each year- when we remembered our anniversary.

 

 

PS Mrs Leftfoot is now going to upbraid me once again for not inviting her to be my bridesmaid.