Aged Chatelaine?

As nothing too interesting happened yesterday, and Facebook has failed to throw up an interesting memory, I thought I’d recycle a blog originally posted in another place on 21st January 2011.

This story contains references to what can be delicately described as the “lady-garden”, so perhaps the more squeamish gentlemen and ladies amongst you may wish to read no further….

Yesterday I went to my GP for my regular coil check and whilst I was there mentioned a little niggling problem I was having “down below” which might be nothing but might need looking into.

Peering at her computer she asked “Are you due a smear?”

Heart sinking I replied “Well I don’t seem to have had one for a couple of years.”

“Once you’re past fifty they go to every five years”

“And you get mammograms instead” I suggested.

Explaining the little niggle I said “You see I’ve just heard of a fourth friend needing treatment for cancer, so really I’d never forgive myself if there was something amiss and I’d done nothing.”

“It’s not catching” she said

“I know, but hearing about it doesn’t half concentrate the mind”

Anyway we proceeded to the examination and I was reassured that everything looked and felt as it should.

"While I'm here" said my GP "Do you mind if I take a swab?"

"Feel free" says I, not really in any position to refuse.

"It's highly unlikely that you've got Chlamydia, but we may as well check."

"Highly unlikely" I agreed "Especially as I've been with the same partner since 1993."

She gave me a wide-eyed look at me and said "Gosh!  I don't think they'd even invented Chlamydia back then."