"Every Mother’s Nightmare”

Another from the annus horribilis of 2012, which I do not share lightly, plus a follow-up.

Usually on Sundays I take Ferretfingers out, sometimes with his brother sometimes not.

This particular Sunday we had planned to come home via Gateshead Metro station.

Ferretfingers likes to use the lift, I prefer not, this was the first and last time I allowed him to use the lift on his own.

As usual Facebook friends rallied, virtually, around.

21 October 2012 at 15:11 ·

Could do with less drama in my life

Paganess Couldn't we all! Hope everything’s OK

Bentonbag Ferretfingers managed to get on the metro on his own leaving me standing at Gateshead station. 

I'd let him go down in the lift on his own and he'd got straight onto a train before I got there.

All I heard was the horn, "Muuum" - and saw him go past on it. 

So me up to concourse to really helpful metro officials who put at APB out on him, got all trains looked at, got the police down. 

I phoned Fester and got him to go up to FourLaneEnds. 

Threequarters of an hour later Fester phones, Ferretfingers has arrived on the bus! 

He'd got off at Central Station and got on the No 1 bus home. 

The kind metro official said it was ok for me to go home without buying a ticket:

I’d been travelling on Ferretfingers’ disabled person’s travel companion card. 

It all got too much for me and I burst into tears all over the police officers.

The policewoman said “You can’t go home on the metro in that state.  Lookah we’ll take you.”

And I got brought home in a police-car.

Fay Poor you! Poor Ferretfingers! Sounds like he kept his cool though and got home safe.

Bentonbag He was fine - I was in shreds - he obviously thought "Great, I've shaken her off, now I can go home any way I like"

Mrs Jeremy Blimey, Ben, never a dull moment in your life!

Kentishlady Poor you! That must have been so dreadful. So glad it all turned out fine.

LHS But just think how great he was at finding his way home

Mrs Library Every mother's nightmare.... Hope you are ok now. And no, it never helps, but at least he was resourceful and got home using a way he knew.

Dulcima Poor you! I hope you've recovered a bit by now.

12 October 2014 at 23:26 ·

Just had this conversation with Ferretfingers who, out of the blue, said 

"I was scared on the Metro."

"What were you scared of?"

"Mummy was frightened"

"Why was Mummy frightened?"

"I came home on the Number One Bus."

 "Oh, when you got on the metro on your own."

 "I was talking to the police."

 "Yes, Mummy talked to the police and they brought me home because I was so scared I lost you." 

The heart-breaking thing (apart from the fact he still confuses personal pronouns) is this incident happened nearly two years ago and this is the first time he's mentioned it.

 

Post Script

One of the worrying things about being the parent of a non-verbal or child with limited communication skills is how long it takes him to talk about problems, difficulties or unpleasant things that have happened to him. 

How can you deal with things you don’t get to hear about until long, sometimes years, after the event?