Anniversary Cards

Yesterday Ferretfingers returned from his outreach time with Emil bearing a bunch of flowers and a Happy Anniversary Mum & Dad card for us.  They had walked to Asda, some five miles via the country park, in the pouring rain to buy them: all Ferretfingers’ own idea and at his insistence.

I felt particularly moved because it’s the first one we’ve had.

Fester and I always (or almost always) exchange cards on our anniversary but I do not send or expect to receive any from anyone else.

It didn’t use to be this way.

I was the sort of person who always sent anniversary cards to family and those friends whose weddings I attended and address I still had.

When Phil and I married in October 1990 we did the full wedding breakfast and evening do and we were fortunate enough to have scores of cards and messages blessing us with congratulations and good wishes. The following year there were loads of anniversary cards from family and friends wishing us well.  Particularly apposite as the next day Phil went into hospital to have a tumour removed from his bowel.

He died on 24th September 1992.

My brother and sister-in-law’s wedding anniversary is 24^th October.                     A week or so beforehand I went into the Post Office intending to buy a card to send them.  As I stood before the card display I was overwhelmed by an unbearable combination of grief and rage and fear; remembering how all the good wishes bestowed on us had had no effect.  All the cards and good wishes in the world wouldn’t have helped.  These cards were hatefully pointless.             I couldn’t bear the sight of them.  I fled the Post Office and came home trembling.

I think Bigbrother understood, because it’s never been mentioned either by him or the sisters.

Barring landmark anniversaries, like Silver and Gold, I’ve not sent one to any one since (with the exception of my parents while they were both still alive).

Even now it takes all my strength to buy a wedding card.  More often than not I find a plain card with a suitable picture and write my own message; which in a way is more special than some trite mass produced verse.

I still do birthday and Christmas cards though!

"Fester and I always (or almost always) exchange cards on our anniversary ..."