The Jeremy Kyle Show!

From Facebook archives

7 November 2013 at 16:34 ·

Well it comes to something when you get the hoover out and your husband feels your forehead and asks "Are you feeling all right?" and then your son comes home and says "Oh I see the carpet's been vacuumed, I think".

Bentonbag (and you can keep your thoughts to yourself Mrs Leftfoot!)

Bess Cavalier My son's usual response to a burst of domestic activity with a hoover is "Who's coming to visit?

Mrs Leftfoot My lips are sealed! X

7 November 2013 at 18:07 ·

Phone just rang
"Is Ferretfingers there please?"
Who's calling?
"My name is Chris"
Ferretfingers is autistic, where are you calling from?
"Oh! I'm from Your Move, he's just sent me an email asking for someone to come and value his home."
!!!

Mr Mull For sale or rent?

FifiD 🏠for sale!!!! Xx

Mr Mull Obviously decided that now the hoovering is done it would be an ideal time for an agent to value it.

Mrs Jeremy That is hilarious Brenda!

Strawangel Would love to know what goes through the boy's mind! A few years back Jeremy Kyle, now this :))

Henlady Ferretfingers is a busy boy!!!!!!

KA Lol, thank you Ferretfingers, he cheered me up after a sad start to the day.xx

Not from Facebook archives.

Ferretfingers has always been fascinated by letters.   

He always puts the subtitles on television, loves news channels with the ever updating panels, and insists on watching all rolling credits (including in the cinema which takes ages).   

Before he had his own laptop he would watch the shopping channels and, not infrequently follow the presenter’s instructions to “Ring now”.   

Thankfully his communication disorder meant that he never actually said or ordered anything.   

I lost count of the times I answered the phone to tell someone no we hadn’t wanted to order their product and ask them to please take our number off their system or, preferably, block it.

The high point was recorded on Facebook thus ...

16 November 2010 at 18:41 ·

House'phone rings this afternoon.
Pleasant esturine male voice "Someone on this number has 'phoned the Jeremy Kyle Show"
"EH?!?"
Took 3 seconds to work out it must have been Ferretfingers.
"Oh - how old is your son?"
"16 but he's autistic"
"So you don't need our help?"
"Oh I need help all right, but nothing the Jeremy Kyle Show could offer."