A Hint

From Facebook Archives

31 August 2021 at 18:41

Him "Is it the first of September tomorrow?"

Me "Yes, and I've run out of Tia Maria."

"As your hints go that's quite subtle."

"Any subtler than that and you don't notice them."

Dr E  I’m bringing Tia Maria to the Coven but that’s five weeks away.

Bentonbag  God Bless you.

 

🥂

Just Giving Another Hint

Two days after my birthday this year I shall be taking part in the North EastSkinny Dip which raises funds for Tyneside Mind.

So if you fancy marking  my getting to pensionable age or celebrating my chutzpah/bare-faced cheek/daring/stupidity (adjective of your choice) please consider making a donation via this JustGiving page.

Thank you.

Coming Out

Ferretfingers’ routine includes a weekly swim and when we started to ‘come out’ of Lockdown the council required swimming sessions to be booked, and paid for, in advance.  As these were popular it was wise to do so as soon as possible, up to a week in advance.  Similarly with Thunderthighs’ gym sessions. Most people could do this online but I had to organise things by phone: Ferretfingers always has a carer with him, and Thunderthighs is just too shy.  It was as easy to do both in one phonecall.  I got on first name terms with the receptionists at the Lakeside centre.

It was a weird Tour de France that year as well.

From the Facebook Archives: the Lockdown posts

30 August 2020

I'm not feeling 100% and don’t want to go out so Thunderthighs, instead of sulking in his room, is taking himself to the Quayside Market!

Big cheers and smiles from his father and me.

Fester and Ferretfingers are going out to Morrison’s Killingworth.

I’m staying in – TdF starts in less than an hour and there must be something that needs ironing.

Also finally got through to Lakeside pool to book Ferretfingers' swim next Friday.    

It being Sunday I expected to get an answering machine, but got Wendy instead.  All booked and gym is to ring me back about Thunderthighs doing some sessions.

Mrs Lasagne  Sending love Ben.  It’s very weird times and I miss normality just plain old normal whatever that may be xxx

Woolerwoman  I know what you mean Ben and sorry you are not feeling well but after 7 days continuous rain, nothing is going to stop me scything some of the grass - I can catch up with the TDF later.

Glad Ferretfingers got sorted with swim etc and that Thunderthigs has taken himself to the market. xxx

Bentonbag  Update: the lovely Lakeside Wendy rang me back and we've now got a gym induction session sorted for Thunderthighs, next Wednesday 9.30

What Goes Around ....

Yesterday we went to Whitley Bay Green Beans Market to buy some bird food from Jool’sTable.   

Wandering around I paused to look at something and the (female) stall holder commented 

“Oh I do like your dungarees.”

I had to smile.

“The thing is” I said “These are the same ones I wore when I was pregnant with him” pointing at Ferretfingers

“I noticed they were back in fashion so I dug them out of the back of the wardrobe.”

They are light-weight denim and, to be fair to myself, they are on the tightest buttons. 

  

Photograph by Ferretfingers

I’m enjoying the current fashion of ladies wearing dungarees, especially the really colourful floral ones.

I’m tempted but 

a) too mean to spend money and 

b) fear I’d look like a chintz armchair.

 One of my earliest memories is of playing out in the rain in the garden at home wearing red dungarees and wellies.  Later, in my twenties, I had a pair of white and blue striped dungarees which I loved and wore until they wore out (or got too tight, I can’t honestly remember).

These ones are comfortable as they don’t constrict the waist.  They’re light enough not to be too hot on normal Summer days (or days in a normal Summer), but warm enough for the start of Autumn.  Sadly there are no back pockets, but I’ve picked two off Thunderthighs’ worn out jeans so that will be rectified the next time I get the sewing machine out.

 

"So Like The Homelife ..."

"... of our own dear Queen"

From Facebook Archives 

28 August 2019 

This was me last night.

I'd had enough of Thunderthighs wandering about with a face like a smacked arse because he wanted to get the cat in and the man at No 17 "keeps brushing his yard" 

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't want him to look at me funny." 

I won't repeat what I said but it was a combination of mind-your-own-business and grow-up. 

Then the internet kept going off (thunder?) so Ferretfingers kept going off on one too. 

Fester actually did nothing in particular but there's plenty in the back catalogue to keep the fire stoked. 

 

Mrs Leftfoot  Hope today is less frustrating. And hope Teddy came in after all. 

Bentonbag  It's not Teddy that's the dirty stop-out it's Felix.  Teddy's routine includes supper at 10.30/11 and he wouldn't want to miss that.  Felix came in at 11.30 when Fester opened the back door to see if he was about. 

Both cats are in today, wise in this weather. 

Mrs Leftfoot  I hope he was fully dressed. Fester, not the cat. 

Bentonbag You hope in vain - not even a dressing gown or loin cloth. The cat has a full fur coat. 

Mrs Leftfoot  Marvellous. I've suddenly gone a bit giddy...

 

The photo is from 2009, but expressed my feeling very well.

 

Apostrophe Query (language warning!)

Those of a delicate disposition are warned that the following contains industrial language.

Facebook memories threw this up this morning, it had not made it into the lockdown papers of my archives.

27 August 2020  

Sheamus Murphy, Ms Exlibris, Ms Telyn - These are my/our kind of people:

Mr Whyte  I love the attention to detail required for a "professional" work email!

Ernexdoor  Brilliant

Mrs Jeremy  Love this!

Mrs Poet  I am enchanted

Ms DC  I don’t give a fuck

Sheamus Murphy  Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Four fucks sake.

Tylebach  this is really funny xxx

Ms MD  What does it even mean?  For the sake of fuck? What or who is fuck?  But I agree, needs a possessive apostrophe.  I mean FFS, what's wrong with these people's literacy?

Bentonbag  My husband is reported to have once said "The fucking fucker's fucking fucked."

And I actually heard my younger son say to his brother "Fucking shut the fuck up you fucking fat faced fuck" - when they shared a bedroom and he was being kept awake.

I don't know where he gets it from ...

Sandy  The full quote: "I work for the University and I'm telling you, the fucking fucker's fucking fucked"

Bentonbag  Had he not worked for the University he might not have felt qualified to comment in such academic language.

Sandy  Bazoukiboy diplomatically intervened and led him away from the Policeman and the Ticket inspectors at that point.

Kingsmen Cameraman  I believe the original quote referred to a broken down Mini

Paganess  Only the most brilliant minds.......

Tylebach  Have you ever heard “I don’t give two flying fucks”? Xxx

Bentonbag  My mother used to say "I don't give a monkey's feather" and now I'm beginning to wonder ...

Ms MB  I blame Dr John Cooper Clarke for placing a different slant on the use of this word!

Kippa  For fucksakes omit the space.

 

Bus Pass Photo

or "With Friends Like (some of)  These..."

Today is the earliest I can apply for my senior person’s bus pass.  

Yesterday I had my photograph taken for it. As it’s going to be with me a long time (I hope) I made the effort to look neat and tidy.

I put the photo up on Facebook.

Here are some of my ‘friends’ replies…

Wooler Woman  Really lovely, congratulations.x

Mrs JW  A lovely photo of you Ben

Bess Cavalier   Ooh, you do look severe!

Birdfoodlady  You look like you're going to rap them on the knuckles with a ruler if they dare cross you! Bril photo!

Mrs Jeremy  Great photo, Ben - no one will dare to question you

Mrs Quilt  Hair up - good choice!

Mrs JD  Ha pension day. Happy birthday xxx

Bentonbag   4 weeks and 1 day to go until I qualify, but I can apply for my bus pass tomorrow.  I've half a mind to stay up until midnight and do it at a minute past.

Mrs JW  We are able to have our bus pass when we are 60 in Wales

Mrs JD  We get in Wales at 60

Bentonbag  Fester got his at 62years 3months.  Then they shifted the goalposts and I've had to wait until 66 - but you can apply up to 28 days before your birthday.  Shame is, it won't work in Wales or Scotland

McChurch  Hold on. Do I look like a bus driver? (Very smart, Hen)

Miss Doozer  That is an excellent picture. Though I feel a bit like I should be explaining why I was caught out of bounds at the café when I should have been in Double Maths.

Bazukiboy  Enforcer from the Dept of Magic?

Drummerman  I was thinking Rosa Klebb, but Dolores Umbridge would work…

Bentonbag  Seeing as Ian Fleming described Rosa Klebb as having "a bosom like a badly packed rucksack" I'm taking Umbridge!!!

Drummerman  I see what you did there.   Anyway, your bosom’s not in the photo…

Bentonbag  Mrs Leftfoot will be relieved about that.  

Mrs Leftfoot  What ARE you all on about? Ben's chest???

Mrs KW  Nobody will argue with you!

FifiD  Beautiful

Mrs Heath  You're not old enough for a bus pass xx

Mrs Lasagne  Well done pensioner x you did it

Bentonbag  Not yet, 28 days to go - if they cough up that is.

Mrs Walker  An important milestone!

Mr Mull  Carry on Matron!

Bentonbag  There is a passing resemblance to HattieJaques.

Mrs Banjoman  Damn sight better than mine

Bentonbag  Max Speilman in Byker.

Mrs Banjoman  ha. mine was a very bad selfie.  Serves me right.

Bentonbag  One thing I learnt working in PR, it's always worth using a proper photographer.

Mrs Bursar  looking good, B. xx

Mrs EJ  You look very much in charge of the situation! Enjoy your benefits as I hope to very soon!!

Bentonbag  I seem to remember your birthday is just one day away from mine.

Mrs EJ yes 25th and you 24th?

Bentonbag  23rd so two days away, you can apply for yours on Sunday.

Mrs EJ   thanks

Sheila Spencer  You look very important (as indeed you are)

Tylebach  Bloody gorgeous xxx