Facing The Monster

Facebook Posts 23 August 2013

Feeling a little sad.

This week I've had meetings with Ferretfingers's social worker and Connexions lady and a day centre about college and what he does on the spare day, and his Personal Budget (his SW brought the draft of his report over and read it to us so we could approve it which was good). 

College have sent us a huge form to fill in about Ferretfingers's ASD, communication difficulties, challenging behaviours, strategies etc etc. So I've spent most of today drafting responses before writing them into the form.

And once again I've had to face how different Ferretfingers is to most other young men of 19, and how different his life is and will be.
Most of the time I can keep the monster in its cave and the door shut, but sometimes it gets out and bites me.

St Bernard Awaw *hugs* xx

LTyle Bach it's awful, I feel for you, xxx

FifiD Terribly sad. .xxxxxxx

Sienna Pond He is an amazing and interesting boy Benton! Don't let these feelings engulf you. Ferretfingers and Thunderthighs changed my life and made me realise what I wanted to do. 

You are an incredible mother and you know you can kick that monster right in the arse! Xx

JAS Sending huge hugs.xx

AW A big hug from NZ too Xxxx

Dark Lady You deserve a medal for always coming across so cheerful. I agree with Sienna P. 

You are an incredible Mum & that monster can go tittle! X

KA Hopefully you will feel differently about this soon. Has any professional suggested using the planning cafe for support? Will college begin at 10am instead of 9? Remember about us cornerstone parents and we may be able to help you.xxx

LKH Benton, understand this so well......but Sienna is right, it's hard to be different but our kids are still amazing xx

Henlady As you know, my foster son Hugh(37) is special needs and was at Treegrass. Since his daddy died he has manned up and is the most wonderful caring son, helping me all he can. 

Of course he still has days of challenging behaviour- but I never dreamed he would turn out to be such a wonderful son to me. So You never know. Our boys just take longer to adjust to the world.

Ms Exlibris He is a lovely person in his own right, believe me kids without his problems are not always as nice, less difficult or more rewarding! It sounds as if you are doing everything you can to maximize his potential and make him independent - you are a brilliant mum and should be very proud of both your boys. Hang in there! x x

Dark Lady As I said before your lovely son has more strength of character than most. I know you're thinking way into the future. Don't.   Once he's away from the  negativity of 'the system' you'll all relax & realise how amazing his future is going to be! Don't let them grind you down! XXXX

Mrs Mobilephone Yes Benton, your amazing that's why Ferretfingers is. All life throws at us and you have done really well, I really admire your strength of character. Love to you all x

Mrs Melodeon Thinking of you Benton. Just as Mrs Mobilephone says you have done so well. 

It is hard to have to spend time thinking of difficulties. Hope all goes well.

Strawangel B, firstly a virtual hug and high five, secondly...shake that monster away and keep your eye on the ball. You are the best one for the job, the only one who can do it. Yet again you have to dig down into the feelings and memories long buried for your self preservation, yet again it has to be explained. I'm sorry you're facing this but at least you're prepared for when it comes around for Thunderthigs?
Is Ferretfingers's statement following him to college? If not then why not? You may need to question this....try and keep his statement until he's 21 at least xx

Bentonbag Thanks Strawangel (and everyone).
Yes Ferretfingers's statement is following him to college and it is a 2 year course, with a review after the first year and the potential to go onto further courses.
College quite wisely want to know as much as possible about Ferretfingers so they can provide him with the most appropriate care. They'll have his report from sixthform and Connextions (which was very accurate) but as the Connextions lady said I know him and his little ways better than anyone.
Thankfully Thunderthighs is an entirely different kettle, communicative (though not necessarily in language one would wish to hear) and travelling independently - so I won't have to go to through the same with him - or if I do it won't be quite as emotional an exercise.

Strawangel You're one strong lady Benton....never forget that xx. God Bless xxxx

Bess Cavalier Here's a hug from me. As mothers we're always much stronger than we think we can be in our darkest moments. Your boys will find their niche in life because you will make sure that they do.