Nothing, Honestly

If my Facebook archives are anything to go by nothing noteworthy (or post-worthy) has happened on 29^th September since 2009 – and possibly before.

Which means either not blogging today, or writing something new and original.

The problem with the latter being I am not in the best frame of mind at the moment.

The present unpleasantness is bad enough in itself but it’s the knock on effects that are getting to me.

 

I could cope with the Coven (meeting up with old university friends and flatmates) being postponed from March to October: even though I had been especially looking forward to it.  Dealing with Ferretfingers’ broken ankle, hospital stay, recuperation etc. had left me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  Coven weekends have been a balm.

On Friday I decided what with one thing and another it would not be right to take a long train journey and stay in a Travelodge with friends with vulnerable family members.  Social distancing and all the rest would make it no fun, however good the company.    

The most recent announcements make it impossible.  We all agreed this Coven is cancelled too.

We had hoped to go down to Wales at Easter - that was not possible.

A few weeks ago I emailed the cottage owner and asked about October half term. 

She said we could have it, and added prophetically “Don’t worry about paying a deposit: you can pay me when you come. If it turns out you can’t come because of Covid19 or some ghastly tempest, I would only be returning it to you anyway!”

Three weeks to go and I’m having to explain to Ferretfingers, who has been begging to go away for months, that it might not happen.  Goodness knows how he’ll react if/when it doesn’t.

Thunderthighs loves going down to Wales as well, but even if we did go bus and train trips would be out of the question.

And how can I see OldestBestFriends when we are most definitely from different households?

All Ferretfingers’ activities were cancelled for months.  He’s now back to swimming, walking and a day centre session once a week.  But how long can that carry on as it will soon be all indoors with people from a dozen different households?

I know in the great scheme of things we aren’t suffering – so far no one we know and love has died or even been ill. 

But close friends have lost parents and more than one friend is self-isolating.

Then there is this constant uncertainty and changing of advice and rules.

Which I have to explain to my boys as best as I can.

Almost every plan or reply includes the caveat “if the Covid rules allow.”

As anyone will tell you “autistic people like routine”.

A cliché but to some extent true.

My boys like to know what is going to happen when; and if it doesn’t or things chop and change they get anxious and stressed.

Being their mother I feel for and with them, and it all adds to my own stress, anxiety and worry about friends and family.

Sorry this hasn’t been a cheerful or amusing blog.

But (as an ex-boyfriend of mine used to say when criticising me) at least I’m being honest.